Robina
I have a good memory and i am very curious. So every man or woman that i have come across in my life i have made a point of knowing their story. What I learnt over years is life of kenyan poor was miserable but it was colourful. if you wanted to hear raw comedy you just listened to this class stories. They had seen it all and done it all. Back in the 1980s young Gusii men would come to Limuru. they work seek employee in tea farms to pick tea. Eventually they would be tired with the life of working for big tea farms and venture to my village to seek work at small scale tea farm holdings. Once you got to know them well, they would give you their background stories of how they ended in kiambu. Most were recruited by friends shortly after high school or primary. They would be lied to that they could come to Kiambu and get jobs as supervisor or manager in the farms there. Upon getting to Kiambu they would realize they been duped but would decide to work while looking for a way back home or to nairobi
Most of the tea farms had a mixture of Kisiis and Luhyia with a sprinkling of Luos. One of the biggest grievances in the camps where these workers lived was wife snatching. If you were a drunkard, most of the teetolers would wait till you out drinking and they would seduce your wife. By the time you came back home broke after drinking all the salary the wife would be in someone else house. Usually Kisiis would lose their wives to Luhyias. In Tigoni police station that where missing wife reports were filled and for the right bribe you would be given two cops to arrest the wife snatcher and with the wife snatcher arrested mama would return home. So one naughty luo policewoman got tired of this nonsense and decided on end of month she was going to put an end to this behaviour. One of the notorious drunkard we call Simba because anytime he would drink he would start saying he will roar like a lion. Nita guruma kama simba he would shout. Anyway he lost his newly minted wife from Keroka that end of month and decided to go to Tigoni and try to reposses his goods. At the station he found the woman after talking to the woman this how the story unfounded
Simba: officer nataka usandizi wako kwa sababu bibi yangu wamechukuliwa na jamaa fulani
PW: Sasa wewe ni wamanume marindadi sana kwani usiongee na msichana kama mimi
PW: Mimi sina bwana unaweza nitongoza tukikumbaliana wewe utakuwa bwana yangu
Simba: shot his shots
PW: to the other policemen at the station give me my Hat, she puts on her hat and tell simba wewe utongoza kirauni. Huna adabu kabisa, Piga magoti na uende na magoti kutoka hapa mpaka kwa gate
She called the whole police force to come witness. The driveway Simba was to walk using his knees had just been paved with fresh kokoto. Jamaa alifinya na hiyo mawe and it was january so the sun was just beaming at his rescending hairline. somewhere midway emotions go the best of Simba.
Simba. In a prayerful gesture he looked up the sky, lifted his hand up and tears running down the cheeks, he shouted ooooooh Agnesii wangu! Mbona wanitesha hivi, Mungu nii hurumie, and he wailed loudly. The woman told Simba to get up and never to come back to report his and fellow kisii wife snatching shenanigans again
About Okoth he was funny guy that just trolled Kikuyu nationalists. He was a strong fanatic of Ochingaism
