Perfect Cure for #MeToo

[vooke]

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Consent forms would have saved Russel Simmons, and a few other good men who can't prove that it was consensual because nowhere is it written consensual.

[vooke]

It will not serve the interests of women if #MeToo becomes a movement that does as much to wreck the careers of people like Henderson as it does to bring down the Weinsteins of the world. Nor will it do much to convince men that #MeToo is a movement that is ultimately for them if every sexual transgression, great or small, vile, crass or mostly clumsy, is judged according to the same Procrustean standard.

https://goo.gl/Vi8WQf

[Dear Mami]

I have had very strong reservations about this developing culture that it is enough for a woman (or indeed anyone) to just tell a story in order for the public conviction and mob condemnation and lynching to follow.

Our instinct for mob justice terrifies me, whether burning someone in Nairobi or Kisii or destroying them socially in the West just on the basis of an accusation. In the frenzy, the mob doesnt seem concerned about the fact that they really DONT KNOW what happened here.

I completely understand the instinct to protect a victim who has no ability to offer more than their version of events but the risk of innocent people being punished is more concerning to me. It means anyone of us could be destroyed should we cross the wrong type of person.

[Dear Mami]

It will not serve the interests of women if #MeToo becomes a movement that does as much to wreck the careers of people like Henderson as it does to bring down the Weinsteins of the world. Nor will it do much to convince men that #MeToo is a movement that is ultimately for them if every sexual transgression, great or small, vile, crass or mostly clumsy, is judged according to the same Procrustean standard.

https://goo.gl/Vi8WQf

These women quoted in that article are INSANE. I have had the leering they described done to me and would NEVER in a million years think that it was of the same magnitude as rape. How insulting is that for rape victims? To hear that what they went through is no different than seeing a dude's exposed penis or a pat on the bum? I betcha any rape victim would have rather had the pat on the bum or the exposed penis, anyone of them. I mean yeah, it feels violating and gross and highly disrespectful but it is NOT violence. Imagining it belongs in the same universe as rape is sheer insanity. Like someone violated by a slap or spittle trying to claim it had the same degree of violation as murder or getting stabbed in the kidney.

[veritas]

Stabbed in the kidney is fairly specific ... I've been tapped on the bum, and to this day I feel violated. It's really not about comparing incremental differences. It's still a violation. How do you think your boo would feel if some random sicko tapped you on the bum? It's traumatic for all.

[Dear Mami]

Stabbed in the kidney is fairly specific ... I've been tapped on the bum, and to this day I feel violated. It's really not about comparing incremental differences. It's still a violation. How do you think your boo would feel if some random sicko tapped you on the bum? It's traumatic for all.

Nah, Veritas. I have been tapped on the bum as well and when I was 16/17 I remember being forced to say "thsnk you" to a comment about my boobs from a mean-looking Othorongongo that wasnt even smiling when he made the comments, stared and demanded the thank you. I felt humiliated and have never forgotten it. Still remember some unnecessary airport searchrs not too long ago. I would still never in a milliom years compare that to such a destructive and violent act as rape, never. That simply trivializes the experiences of rape victims. There needs to be balance and common sense when you want to punish bad behaviour or youll be creating a weird totalitarian place.

Also, some of the accusations dont even seem to meet the criteria. Context matters a lot. I dont want a state of affairs where men are terrified to even approach a woman. Scandinavia is a wonderful place but the way they do their relationships is one thing I dont admire and I think the entire West will be going that route.

[veritas]

You should have slapped him and reported the incident to the police. As a woman you have rights you know. You are entitled to be empowered. Don't ever get down trodden Kadame- misogyny is rampant in today's society. Bash it off at every angle. Common sense is to never let these things slide just because other woman are experiencing a famine and going through traumatic incidences than you. Your actions send a ripple to woman who are suffering from heinous crimes quietly in the dark. Too embarrassed and traumatised about the time they were raped. You create an atmosphere of safety and dialogue with every earnest stand against each of these abusive incidents. I'm disgusted some sick fuck made you say thank-you. Let me please remind you, this is a safe space.

[vooke]

I have had very strong reservations about this developing culture that it is enough for a woman (or indeed anyone) to just tell a story in order for the public conviction and mob condemnation and lynching to follow.

Our instinct for mob justice terrifies me, whether burning someone in Nairobi or Kisii or destroying them socially in the West just on the basis of an accusation. In the frenzy, the mob doesnt seem concerned about the fact that they really DONT KNOW what happened here.

I completely understand the instinct to protect a victim who has no ability to offer more than their version of events but the risk of innocent people being punished is more concerning to me. It means anyone of us could be destroyed should we cross the wrong type of person.

I wonder how many celebrities are busy peeing in their pants crossing their gonads that they are not next. I mean at this rate, even a random act of full consensual sex decades ago can bring you down.

[vooke]

These women quoted in that article are INSANE. I have had the leering they described done to me and would NEVER in a million years think that it was of the same magnitude as rape. How insulting is that for rape victims? To hear that what they went through is no different than seeing a dude's exposed penis or a pat on the bum? I betcha any rape victim would have rather had the pat on the bum or the exposed penis, anyone of them. I mean yeah, it feels violating and gross and highly disrespectful but it is NOT violence. Imagining it belongs in the same universe as rape is sheer insanity. Like someone violated by a slap or spittle trying to claim it had the same degree of violation as murder or getting stabbed in the kidney.

Kadame,
Matt Damon on ABC echoes your sentiments and part of this article; we grade crimes and we should grade assault and harassment. Lumping everything together is a great disservice to the Movement as it is only a matter of time before some brave me start calling it out.

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/matt-damon-draws-backlash-comments-sexual-harassment-assault/story?id=51860137

[Kim Jong-Un's Pajama Pants]

I agree with Kadame that there is an element of devaluing the gravity of this crime. 

Rape should be forceful penetrating sex without consent and nothing else.

Sex assault should be forceful fumbling around with sexual assets of the victim.

Sexual harassment should be unwanted seduction by someone in a position of power.

Other categories may be necessary, depending on how rampant the problem is.  Innocent until guilty should be maintained, with caveats of course, such as safety of the victim.

If you are married, it should be difficult to convict people of these things, unless there is evidence of physical violence away from sex play.  Some people like it rough.  Some like to be wrestled to the ground and their clothes ripped off.  We have to be honest.

[Nefertiti]

Reminds me again why I dislike liberals. They are a cult. Any male Dem supporter going down is just a good serving of their own poison. E g. Shervin Pishevar. The fool gave them millions for years, they hanged him in a New York minute. Why are people unable to relate their vote to their life? Especially men The other day we argued here with Windy, MOON Ki and vooke about some engineer fired by Google for expressing conservative opinion. They all went gung-ho on me. Only the ladies here saw sense. Why do you want due process now, huh? You support feminist scambugs then what? Can't have your cake and eat it.