Is it abnormal for an African man of almost 40 not having kids

[Arcadian_Dreamer]

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I hit the big 40 in one a half years but still haven't sired any juniors. I don't want to bring any life on this planet, decided this long time ago. I love being childless, I wake up when I want, go wherever I want, no responsibilities, no money on diapers and school fees. I lead a serene life. The stress my colleagues go through with their children, I don't envy them. I don't see no point in perpetuating my gene pool.

Family members and relatives are giving me hard time though, why can't they let me be? Misery loves company.

Who else is in the same boat?

[KenyanPlato]

Do not do it. Kids are a drain and if you have decided not to have them please do not. Becareful with pressure. Get snipped that way you can't be tricked,into having kids

[Arcadian_Dreamer]

Do not do it. Kids are a drain and if you have decided not to have them please do not. Becareful with pressure. Get snipped that way you can't be tricked,into having kids

Thanks, I won't do it.

Vasectomy? I'm scared of surgeries.

I'm normally stubborn fella, but lately I have become mealy mouthed when confronted by relatives about my lack of mbegu. I have began to appreciate how powerful societal pressure can be. I would imagine any weaker person would have succumbed to the siren song of the breeding masses. Nobody tells me what to do though.

 

[Njuri Ncheke]

I hit the big 40 in one a half years but still haven't sired any juniors. I don't want to bring any life on this planet, decided this long time ago. I love being childless, I wake up when I want, go wherever I want, no responsibilities, no money on diapers and school fees. I lead a serene life. The stress my colleagues go through with their children, I don't envy them. I don't see no point in perpetuating my gene pool.

Family members and relatives are giving me hard time though, why can't they let me be? Misery loves company.

Who else is in the same boat?

In Africa you will attract lots of eyebrows bana. But if you in majuu you can get away with it..
The problem will not be you since you have made a decision but the women you date. One might trap you when you're in your 50s, imagine changing diapers then. You have to think hard women have those inbuilt and undeletetable instinct to procreate unless one is sterile. For you better go for vasectomy that's only way you will survive and date women with children which again you won't escape responsibility.
Having kids i can tell you is fun, well it will be soo hectic and tiring but at end of day you sleep really proud and Thank God.

[Arcadian_Dreamer]

In Africa you will attract lots of eyebrows bana. But if you in majuu you can get away with it..
The problem will not be you since you have made a decision but the women you date. One might trap you when you're in your 50s, imagine changing diapers then. You have to think hard women have those inbuilt and undeletetable instinct to procreate unless one is sterile. For you better go for vasectomy that's only way you will survive and date women with children which again you won't escape responsibility.
Having kids i can tell you is fun, well it will be soo hectic and tiring but at end of day you sleep really proud and Thank God.

That is one of my nightmares actually, you never know with these women. I have been successful thus far, but who knows in the future. I might bite the bullet and go for a vasectomy actually. But I have heard of an AA NFL player - Antonio Cromartis -  who still impregnated his wife despite having undergone vasectomy, so it is not 100%.

One thing I could never wrap my head around is the pride thing you often hear about in siring kids, what is there to be proud about in having a child? I'm not being critical, just want to understand the mindset.

[Njuri Ncheke]

Well children are what give me the motivation and ambition everyday to hustle hard. When I look at mine I want to pave the way for them as much as my parents did. I remember my childhood I admire my parents they raised us well with whatever they have we had a good upbringing I can't complain. Very good memories. I want to give my children a more better one than the one we had. My grandparents from dad side were dirt poor but mum side was well, historically Isiolo Merus were very poor. My dad struggled and was able to rise above poverty because he saw his upbringing, he even paid his own school fees and educated his brothers and took care of family while grand was killing beberu in forests of mt. Kenya.
Back to you if you get vasectomy 98% you are finished dont have false hope eti you can go back. And once a woman knows you had it respect goes south

[RV Pundit]

You cannot run away from responsibility if you African man like us.Chance are high you'll have to fund relatives and elderly parents.Kids are the greatest thing you can do...trust me about that.They are only in diaperns for short time and then you have companion that truly loves you for the rest of their lives.Money cannot buy such.Fake girlfriends cannot.Have at least a kid.

[GeeMail]

When I get on Nipate and find posts by Njuri Ncheke and Pundit that I agree with, I have to ask whether it is a holiday in Kenya.

[RV Pundit]

Don't conflate politics with other aspect of life; our difference are political. We have no time for Raila just like you have no time for Jubilee.This is true for many kenyans. I know ODMorons have been embittered by following a loser for so long so it hard for them to seperate politics (now turned into hatred) from other aspect.

When I get on Nipate and find posts by Njuri Ncheke and Pundit that I agree with, I have to ask whether it is a holiday in Kenya.

[KenyanPlato]

Do not do it. Kids are a drain and if you have decided not to have them please do not. Becareful with pressure. Get snipped that way you can't be tricked,into having kids

Thanks, I won't do it.

Vasectomy? I'm scared of surgeries.

I'm normally stubborn fella, but lately I have become mealy mouthed when confronted by relatives about my lack of mbegu. I have began to appreciate how powerful societal pressure can be. I would imagine any weaker person would have succumbed to the siren song of the breeding masses. Nobody tells me what to do though.

Vasectomy  will save you do it. It is a minor surgery you will be up and running in two days .  Good luck

[KenyanPlato]

In Africa you will attract lots of eyebrows bana. But if you in majuu you can get away with it..
The problem will not be you since you have made a decision but the women you date. One might trap you when you're in your 50s, imagine changing diapers then. You have to think hard women have those inbuilt and undeletetable instinct to procreate unless one is sterile. For you better go for vasectomy that's only way you will survive and date women with children which again you won't escape responsibility.
Having kids i can tell you is fun, well it will be soo hectic and tiring but at end of day you sleep really proud and Thank God.

That is one of my nightmares actually, you never know with these women. I have been successful thus far, but who knows in the future. I might bite the bullet and go for a vasectomy actually. But I have heard of an AA NFL player - Antonio Cromartis -  who still impregnated his wife despite having undergone vasectomy, so it is not 100%.

One thing I could never wrap my head around is the pride thing you often hear about in siring kids, what is there to be proud about in having a child? I'm not being critical, just want to understand the mindset.

That what you have to fear. Entrapment. It is real. These bozos  will get pregnant and then ride you rugged. Do not be surprised that the trap is being laid for you with your family supporting it. I will say kids are a joy but knowing what the future holds in,this world having a kid now is being irresponsible.
Vasectomy you got have various test done after it is performed to make sure you are safe.

[Arcadian_Dreamer]

You cannot run away from responsibility if you African man like us.Chance are high you'll have to fund relatives and elderly parents.Kids are the greatest thing you can do...trust me about that.They are only in diaperns for short time and then you have companion that truly loves you for the rest of their lives.Money cannot buy such.Fake girlfriends cannot.Have at least a kid.

I'm very generous to my parents, siblings and relatives, I don't shirk duty at all. I absolutely disagree about kids being the greatest thing one can do. In that case chokoras and deadbeats are a great achievement. Your stance is typical of the simple unreformed unreflective African mindset. Having many kids is good, my tribal chieftain will make the best PORK, every regressive ritual we inherited from our primitives ancestors is sacred and so on. You strike me as a very premodern personality, almost a fossil.

[Arcadian_Dreamer]

Well children are what give me the motivation and ambition everyday to hustle hard. When I look at mine I want to pave the way for them as much as my parents did. I remember my childhood I admire my parents they raised us well with whatever they have we had a good upbringing I can't complain. Very good memories. I want to give my children a more better one than the one we had. My grandparents from dad side were dirt poor but mum side was well, historically Isiolo Merus were very poor. My dad struggled and was able to rise above poverty because he saw his upbringing, he even paid his own school fees and educated his brothers and took care of family while grand was killing beberu in forests of mt. Kenya.
Back to you if you get vasectomy 98% you are finished dont have false hope eti you can go back. And once a woman knows you had it respect goes south

So you had no motivation and ambition before you had your little ones?

[Njuri Ncheke]

Well children are what give me the motivation and ambition everyday to hustle hard. When I look at mine I want to pave the way for them as much as my parents did. I remember my childhood I admire my parents they raised us well with whatever they have we had a good upbringing I can't complain. Very good memories. I want to give my children a more better one than the one we had. My grandparents from dad side were dirt poor but mum side was well, historically Isiolo Merus were very poor. My dad struggled and was able to rise above poverty because he saw his upbringing, he even paid his own school fees and educated his brothers and took care of family while grand was killing beberu in forests of mt. Kenya.
Back to you if you get vasectomy 98% you are finished dont have false hope eti you can go back. And once a woman knows you had it respect goes south

So you had no motivation and ambition before you had your little ones?

You took the bait and asked that dubious question i knew thats why i left the cheque blank
You see let me answer you briefly when you have kids you have a MBIG reason to work extra harder and not be contented ie. When being bachelor one is contented with small things , a car lovely lifestyle women etc cheap things. But once you have kids you know there are other more important things in life to achieve. Again their is the respect that comes with being a parent when I was a bachelor i couldn't join Njuri Ncheke as that disqualified me, now i can seat at same table with elders even though am quite young the respect I get simply emanates from my status as a family man
There lots of things i can't put here but if you want to be castrated make sure you adopt children like the orphans or chokoraa that's only advice if you want to help in this life.

[Kim Jong-Un's Pajama Pants]

I hit the big 40 in one a half years but still haven't sired any juniors. I don't want to bring any life on this planet, decided this long time ago. I love being childless, I wake up when I want, go wherever I want, no responsibilities, no money on diapers and school fees. I lead a serene life. The stress my colleagues go through with their children, I don't envy them. I don't see no point in perpetuating my gene pool.

Family members and relatives are giving me hard time though, why can't they let me be? Misery loves company.

Who else is in the same boat?

Of course it's abnormal just going by the numbers.  But I suspect you mean if it's socially acceptable.  It depends on your social circles and your priorities.  Having kids is a life changing experience as you point out.  That's another human being that is entirely your responsibility for at least 2 decades, possibly more.

But without the experience, I would not readily pass judgement on your colleagues.  They probably go through hassles that you can see, and some challenges certainly become compounded by having a child dependent. 

But there is also an upside.  You get to see your kid grow up and make mistakes(about stuff you had no idea was supposed to be NOT obvious).  People with kids live longer, on average https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/have-kids-live-longer-2017042411562.  You can go to campouts and meet other parents and make new friends through your kids.  I am sure there is more...

That aside, I believe most people want to leave an imprint of themselves in the gene pool.  I think we are evolutionarily programmed for that.

[RV Pundit]

Kids and adults above 65 are the same..mostly a burden..and you'll get there childless and in diapers  and weak.But if you have your own kids you'll be better.Selfishness will take you so far because you can lose it all but if you have family you will be better.You only don't want kids because you're selfish irresponsible rascal...but life will eventually out you.

[RV Pundit]

You cannot run away from responsibility if you African man like us.Chance are high you'll have to fund relatives and elderly parents.Kids are the greatest thing you can do...trust me about that.They are only in diaperns for short time and then you have companion that truly loves you for the rest of their lives.Money cannot buy such.Fake girlfriends cannot.Have at least a kid.

I'm very generous to my parents, siblings and relatives, I don't shirk duty at all. I absolutely disagree about kids being the greatest thing one can do. In that case chokoras and deadbeats are a great achievement. Your stance is typical of the simple unreformed unreflective African mindset. Having many kids is good, my tribal chieftain will make the best PORK, every regressive ritual we inherited from our primitives ancestors is sacred and so on. You strike me as a very premodern personality, almost a fossil.

look at this fool..there is nothing modern about being a bachelor.In each of our villagers we have those guys.Have always had them.Nearly all are miserable.Soon when you hit 60..you will be weak and maybe in diapers..you won't hold you pee for long..and you will wish you had a family of your own.The kid you were changing diapers will now switch role.But if you are selfish you'll be alone with dogs and cats...and will die a miserable man nobody wants to remember.Which of you girlfriend will want you in your 60s.Only your kids will be there to return the love and the responsibility...but maybe you'll be superstar bachelor.Maybe finally we will have senior bachelor to be emulated..in wealth, leadership and humanity.Nearly all have died poor, miserable and horrible...as they aged without any family support

[GeeMail]

Pundit you are too blunt. The only modern thing about mzee kijana (we also have them in our village) is that in the west they will accept you in nyumba ya wazee. If you have no children nobody will visit you. Not even the socialite ngalufriends you are wasting time with now. If you have children you will probably be well taken care of in future (no guarantee).

[RV Pundit]

Pundit you are too blunt. The only modern thing about mzee kijana (we also have them in our village) is that in the west they will accept you in nyumba ya wazee. If you have no children nobody will visit you. Not even the socialite ngalufriends you are wasting time with now. If you have children you will probably be well taken care of in future (no guarantee).

He will be deported or self deport to Kenya as lonely old man...he thinks he will forever be young, rich and attractive.If he gets fired he dies homeless in a few years

[KenyanPlato]

Do not let these guys put pressure on you. You could have kids that turn into riff raffs and criminals and end up causing your a lot of grief. Very few parents get much care from kids in old age. You just need to plan your life properly and take steps that will secure you in oldage. Plus do not let your family dump their responsibilities  on you. Think about it this way the person asking for your handout today if roles were reversed would they be there for you?