Moral fabric of our country is torn- read and weap

[Ole Ole]

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no words but as we wage war on good governance people have to take responsibility for their actions. we have lost
moral compass, we are wallowing in moral sewer. 

Harrowing tales from a village where children are defiled by relatives 'to cure AIDS'
Read more at: http://www.standardmedia.co.ke/entertainment/thenairobian/article/2000138580/harrowing-tales-from-a-village-where-children-are-defiled-by-relatives-to-cure-aidshttp://www.standardmedia.co.ke/entertainment/thenairobian/article/2000138580/harrowing-tales-from-a-village-where-children-are-defiled-by-relatives-to-cure-aids

[Ole Ole]

http://www.standardmedia.co.ke/entertainment/thenairobian/article/2000137647/headmaster-tried-to-rape-me-but-failed-then-knifed-me-narrated-judy

[George Lamming]

Double Ole: This is a spiritual and Education problem. We start by doing what you are doing here...talk about it! As long as we talk about it and not hide it, we have addressed half the issue. Children are sometimes the most vulnerable members of our communities, and that is sad. Not sure what those who protect children are doing.

[Ole Ole]

precisely..........at times i think we dedicated alot of energy 38to political battles at the expenses of other local issue that we
could amplify and help to bring change. have you checked deadbeat kenya lately? its sad to read what our people are going through

Double Ole: This is a spiritual and Education problem. We start by doing what you are doing here...talk about it! As long as we talk about it and not hide it, we have addressed half the issue. Children are sometimes the most vulnerable members of our communities, and that is sad. Not sure what those who protect children are doing.

[George Lamming]

precisely..........at times i think we dedicated alot of energy 38to political battles at the expenses of other local issue that we
could amplify and help to bring change. have you checked deadbeat kenya lately? its sad to read what our people are going through

Double o,

Lets own the problem. It is not as hard as we see. If we take ownership, we can resolve this...somehow

Double Ole: This is a spiritual and Education problem. We start by doing what you are doing here...talk about it! As long as we talk about it and not hide it, we have addressed half the issue. Children are sometimes the most vulnerable members of our communities, and that is sad. Not sure what those who protect children are doing.

[Mr Mansfield.]

We waste all our time on politics and sexy from radio,tv to social media...nobody ever focuses on most important issues affecting our society,

Without Prejudice.

[mya88]

Ole, Thanks for bringing this to the public attention or at least highlighting these grave matters that seem to fall under the radar. I cant even begin to explain how helpless one feels when you read such stories...these things did not happen when I was growing up. Whether there was money or not Parents protected their children...what has become of the African man to use and abuse children? Families using children as pawns...mothers sending thier children to pedophiles....its beyond me. There is a generation of kids growing up now that is so damaged we may never be able to repair and by the time the public wakes up to it...it may be too late. We can politik all day but if we do not address such issues....we are going nowhere fast as a country.

[Omollo]

This is where the government - both county and national - should shine. There is need for a lot of education here.

[TheDayTheDollarDies]

Western "Values" at play here...expect more with their Queer agenda infecting "enlightened Africans." who worship everything Caucasian.

[Kichwambaya]

Kenya has serious moral issues that are very disturbing.  The one that gets to me more and is worsening is greed and the love for money.  Kenyans are collectively getting to the point where they would do anything for money.  When it comes to money, Kenyans have lost their dignity and morals.  Mothers are selling their children for money, children are selling their mothers for money, siblings are killing each other and betraying each other for money. Everybody wants money and do not care how they get it and when they get it they want more.  This begins from the top government officials to the street beggers. The clergy are not left out either. Its money, money, money.  Kenyans have accepted that only those with money can rule them and that is why we will continue to get mediocre leaders such as ouru, wambui, kidero and Sonko untill something breaks.  I am sure there will be a correction but it will be costly.  We cannot continue like this forever.

Western "Values" at play here...expect more with their Queer agenda infecting "enlightened Africans." who worship everything Caucasian.

[MOON Ki]

That is some sick, sick stuff.  And it is very telling to see that there are only two "readers comments", a sharp contrast from what you would have with story about politics.

[kadame]

Mya, DollarMan,

It may have been happening back in the day but to a lesser extent. The way our societies were traditionally structured, men and boys did not freely mix with girls and women, even with fathers and their daughters there was social distance, and boys of the same age generally hang together. The whole set up was collegial. There were also strong social taboos about incest and generally, about sex before marriage or sex with another man's wife. Pundit says the pastoralist communities did not share these social taboos on sex except for things like incest, but for everyone else, having sex with somebody's wife or even a woman you did not marry was quite serious back in the day. Modernization has meant that all those social structures have disappeared but without being replaced by western social structures and values, or at least these latter values (western) have not quite taken root in our soil. So we are left in a place where we are sort of hanging in the air socially/morally speaking, neither African nor Western, but a weird breed of the two. I believe our political immaturity is the result of this. We still identify with basic African philosophies on the community as the main legal subject and the protector even though we don't do it consciously (those of us who are educated ) while we are trying to build a society based on western individualism which comes with a high degree/emphasis on personal responsibility. We Africans still act as if the community guarantees our safety when the community has all but disappeared except in our minds. I think we have to go through a period where we must (unfortunately) completely shed every last trace of our old philosophies in order to move forward or magically find a middle course that works for us, like some Asian countries have done with their traditional outlook and newly received western political and social structures.

Western "Values" at play here...expect more with their Queer agenda infecting "enlightened Africans." who worship everything Caucasian.

Ole, Thanks for bringing this to the public attention or at least highlighting these grave matters that seem to fall under the radar. I cant even begin to explain how helpless one feels when you read such stories...these things did not happen when I was growing up. Whether there was money or not Parents protected their children...what has become of the African man to use and abuse children? Families using children as pawns...mothers sending thier children to pedophiles....its beyond me. There is a generation of kids growing up now that is so damaged we may never be able to repair and by the time the public wakes up to it...it may be too late. We can politik all day but if we do not address such issues....we are going nowhere fast as a country.

[mya88]

@Kadame

I agree the community has disintegrated, but what I cannot understand, is mothers who have been through labor watching their children being abused, what has happened to us that men are sleeping with their children and there isnt an uproar of sorts...I personally think these men need to be lynched, or at a minimum be castrated to send a message to those who think like that. There is nothing I can think of in my life that makes me this heated, and helpless at the same time....... because I dont really know what I can do to better the situation other than highlight the kids plight.

When I was growing up if such things happened and they were brought to the proper authorities or village elders and there was a price to pay. Children both boys and girls were able to play in the streets without worrying about rape or such. The goverment is too busy emptying coffers its never going to protect the citizens or the children, but parents have a duty to do just that. I think Kichwa has summed up the Kenyan problem pretty well...its all about money, mone,y money.

Those who dont have it are subject to the kind of savagery that we now see and there isnt any relief in sight. Otherswho dont have it want it by any means to the point of selling their children...its as sad as it gets and the fact that people are just going about their business as if this isnt even breaking news, goes to show how low we have sunk........ infact I think these women should be sterilized because it doesnt make any sense to bring children into this world just to subject them to such brutality.

[kadame]

@Mya,

You are so right about the lack of uproar. That's what I mean the sense of community is not there. it's no longer "my problem" if its not me or my child and ironically, the sense of community only comes up when we need to shield a wrong-doer from consequences of wrong-doing....mtu wetu syndrome, but the "mtu wetu" is never the victim but the perpetrator...isn't that ironic? These days, for parents, you must watch out for your own kid. You cant rely on the village to help or even extended relations. It's bizarre.

As to why women do nothing? I really don't know but I have heard the same thing countless times in the West. Were you an Oprah fan? She featured enough of these stories back in the day, asking why women somehow sided with the abuser even when the abuser was just a boy-friend/step-dad, not even the kid's actual father and sometimes not even that long in the relationship. I don't what that is, but it has something to do with women, or relationships, or human nature. It's much more universal than you can believe. I think abusers deliberately seek out psychologically/emotionally weak women who they know they can manipulate. A predator has a 6th sense about these things, that's why they abuse hundreds of children before they are apprehended maaaany years later when their victims are grown up and can challenge them. Its really scary to think about.

[mya88]

@Kadame

I am a big Oprah fan and she has done alot to bring such taboo topics into the public domain. She was also a victim of such as a child, so yes it does happen in the West, but when discovered, there are is a price to pay for the predator and in most cases children are offered services and counseling to help them cope or at least heal from the abuse. In Kenya there are no laws, and if there are, no one is reinforcing them or even bothered by them. These kids who are going through these have nowhere to turn. The family, even the extended family isnt there to shield them, that is what makes it worse.

Last year it was a bout a 16 year old who was gang raped by some teenagers maybe 18-20, about four of them and instead of the community condemning the act, they tried to shield those boys and looked down on the family affected to the point the woman had to move away from there with her kids. Last I heard the girl is somehwere wheelchair bound in a hospital unable to come up with the bill and the fact that she may never walk again......and everyone goes about there business. I dont know...I even avoid reading the dailies just because there is slways some traumatizing stories around children, some as yound as 4....scary is understatement....

[kadame]

@Mya,

Are you referring to that story where police had the rapist boys sweep the police compound or something and then go home as if they were being punished for coming to school late or something like that? Yep, that was truly bizarre. I wonder if those cops would punish them the same way if the girl they had raped and crippled was their own daughter. Societies like this don't tend to go far. We must change or the rot will destroy us from within.

Mya, I stopped reading the news some years back. In fact, I get my news from people around me or from blogs like this. I don't go deliberately looking for it. Why? The news is depressing to the spirit, honestly. While it is good not to close yourself off from the world and to be concerned with other peoples welfare besides your own cacoon, I think its good to limit that exposure for your own wellbeing, especially where you are truly helpless to do anything but pray. You pray and let it go. This world will surely kill you spiritually if you focuss on bad news too much. Things just seem meaningless. Writers give this tip to people all the time and we think its silly, but it works for me.

[mya88]

@Kababe

That is the story I was refering to. I think you are right, these kind of news are not good for the spirit. I like to read the news to get a feel for what is going on at the grassroots level, but what I have found is the more I read the more I just want to give up on that country and move on....but I feel guilty because I have people left behind who I care about. I may just stick to the blogs....maybe one of these days I will start an organization to help the gal child.

[kadame]

@Kababe

That is the story I was refering to. I think you are right, these kind of news are not good for the spirit. I like to read the news to get a feel for what is going on at the grassroots level, but what I have found is the more I read the more I just want to give up on that country and move on....but I feel guilty because I have people left behind who I care about. I may just stick to the blogs....maybe one of these days I will start an organization to help the gal child.

Mya,

You go girl! If you feel called to do something for our young'uns, please don't hesitate. Our gals need all the help they can get. In general, women and girl's lives tend to improve with education and information. Another problem we have besides this kind of hidden sexual abuse is the suppression of girl-child education in the outskirts of the country. We still have girls being pulled from school and married off at 12, 13 etc. This is a problem all over the continent. So much to do, but few people to do it. Maybe I should think of something I could do myself, besides simply talking to my relatives and neighbours/villagers in shags about some stuff they take forgranted that is not good for them and trying to open their eyes. Only women can help other women, it is true.

Don't give up on our peeps, lol! If we give up on them, who will help? 

Still, we must face our personal limits and realize that making ourselves miserable will do little to actually improve the situation. Its just I think it can be overwhelming to fill yourself with stories of things you cant really directly help. There is a Buddhist meditation by Pema Chodron I once read about, on how to connect with the suffering of others through our own suffering and release compassion to them. I used to fear doing it coz I thought it was anti-Christian, but I find it helps with a negative situation that feels overwhelming, like war and what-not and I can make it in a Christian way. You can just practice saying a prayer to Jesus whenever you see something so bad that you just cant stomach it, and yet you cant do much. Ask him to step in and do whatever it is that needs to be done, comfort, healing, whatever and to bring out the best out of that awful situation, then put it out of your mind.  It helps me when I witness/hear about something soul-crashing, whether close to home/far away across the world. Just practice compassion and let go of what is beyond you, its the only way to wade through this world in one piece without growing a bitter and hard shell on your heart.

[MOON Ki]

Mya88 & Kabebi:

Yours are some very deep points that require all of us to do some hard thinking.   And I think kichwambaya has noted what surely must be inevitable: eventually there will be a "correction", and it will be a very costly one.   The rot has reached incredible levels and with no signs of slowing done.    It is not even the fact that such things happen, although it seems to me too that there is now a lot of it.   What is really bad is that hardly anybody who should care and do something is doing anything.

So what to do before the "correction"?    Like mya88, I sometimes come close to despair and start to think along the lines of "forget them and focus on your own life".     But she also notes that there is the enduring connection.   I find that an antidote to despair is to try and do a little bit to help one or two or three ... people somehow improve their lives.   E.g. pay school fees for some bright but needy kid, help pay to dig a well for clean water, and so on.    Small things, but they can make a difference.   I also raise my voice---talk and write---whenever and wherever appropriate; I'm not sure that it makes the slightest difference, but that too has to be done.

[kadame]

Mya88 & Kabebi:

Yours are some very deep points that require all of us to do some hard thinking.   And I think kichwambaya has noted what surely must be inevitable: eventually there will be a "correction", and it will be a very costly one.   The rot has reached incredible levels and with no signs of slowing done.    It is not even the fact that such things happen, although it seems to me too that there is now a lot of it.   What is really bad is that hardly anybody who should care and do something is doing anything.

So what to do before the "correction"?    Like mya88, I sometimes come close to despair and start to think along the lines of "forget them and focus on your own life".     But she also notes that there is the enduring connection.   I find that an antidote to despair is to try and do a little bit to help one or two or three ... people somehow improve their lives.   E.g. pay school fees for some bright but needy kid, help pay to dig a well for clean water, and so on.    Small things, but they can make a difference.   I also raise my voice---talk and write---whenever and wherever appropriate; I'm not sure that it makes the slightest difference, but that too has to be done.

Yes, indeed. Doing something helps even if it looks small in the larger scheme of things. Rome wasn't built in a day.