I begin to Understand Dr. Oburu Oginga on Shiru Odinga

[Omollo]

• Tweet

In his tearful eulogy, Dr. Oburu mentioned his nephew's first wife - Wanjiru (Shiru) - and the circumstances of her departure after a divorce. All the busy bodies online have poured scorn on Dr. Oburu calling him names. Feminists now have a weapon called The Social Media which they use with impunity.

Let me put it this way: The barefooted woman in Bondo who listened to Dr. Oburu agreed with him 100%. I am sure even Dr. Masinde - one man I respect on matters culture and human social conduct - would agree with me privately but publicly disagree to remain politically correct. In  a moment.

What did Oburu say that caused urbanized and cosmopolitan women - the type that usually get nominated to the senate and bunge - to see red? Oburu while praising Shiru expressed his disappointment that the beautiful lady had failed to provide Fidel with an offspring years after marriage. He said that he had been waiting day after day for news of a grand nephew but was disappointed every day. The Cosmopolitan women could hardly wait to unleash their poisonous tweets. Women, they declared, are not child making machines.

In Africa, if Kichwa Mbaya's sister gets married to a son of a shopkeeper, she would be expected to help run the shop. It is not just in Africa! Jeb Bush's wife is going to help him get elected because she is Hispanic and the family shop is White House politics. We know daughters of bishops who fall in love with young men from Mafia homes, Chang'aa selling families etc who end up assuming a role in that business. It is unthinkable that one could get married in the Soprano family and not somehow help run their "Family" business.

The Odinga Family shop is Politics. Anybody joining that family has but one role - to do everything to ensure that the Family Shop makes profit.

Shiru's role was initially very simple: As the wife to the future heir to the Odinga Dynasty, she had to keep ensure the line does not break. She had the obligation of producing not one heir but a large number to create a pool of successors. That would ensure that the infamous Nehru-Gandhi cul-de-suc - does not occur. For those not aware - The Gandhi Dynasty stopped ruling India because it ran out of heirs period! Shiru was definitely leading the Odinga Dynasty to a No Through Road point. Hence the decision to divorce her.

I disagree however that it was a wise decision to file for divorce. What Fidel could have done is to marry a second wife - in line with the Luo traditions. Shiru would remain as the first wife and hopefully the competition would have nudged her to start reproducing.

The barefooted women who listened to Oburu know just how important it is for daughter in laws to produce children quickly. The more children they produce the more stable they are in the home. That way a home is guaranteed to prosper.

[Little Bella]

Why was it assumed she "refused"? Perhaps there was a biological issue there. Either way, I do not see why Oburu had to mention her in such a manner in such a public event. It wasn't fair. Up until then, their issue had remained a private family matter, neither Raila nor Fidel nor Ida had felt the need to do that to Shiru even when they divorced and after. Raila and Ida had both managed to speak positively about and praise Fidel's widow without taking hits at Shiiru. In fact, Raila acknowledged her presence at the funeral quite respectfully. Oburu should have followed that example of decency and empathy. It was quite enough for her to be divorced for "refusing" to give birth, why did she need a public shaming at a funeral of all places? And she was present? That is such bad behavior and lack of empathy towards another human being for absolutely no reason.

As to the duty of women, as a relatively "modern" woman, I have a different outlook on it. In my view, if either the man or woman is sterile or something like that, the other spouse should accept them and love them as they are. Its like an accident or illness or something. We should not drop our vows or commitment to someone that we love if we find they suffer from some disability. We all want deep down, to feel that we are loved  for ourselves, and not just what we can produce. Just like men don't like to feel they are loved for the size of meat they can bring back home from the hunt, and no more. There are some women that similarly drop a husband after years if he becomes poor or no longer needed for finances, which is bad (to me). I think it's the same principle when your spouse is sterile. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. It's hard for many people to stick to that but I think we aspire to that ideal for a reason.

PS, Also, the world is full of children without parents. If a couple cant get pregnant, perhaps God is calling them to open their home to a few babies needing a home and a set of parents just like the two eager parents can offer.

[veritas]

Omollo, this is the 21st century.

LB, amen.

For better or for worse, richer or poorer, sterile or fertile... 

[MOON Ki]

Oburu said that in public?   And at a funeral?   What a guy.   We are barely into 2015, and he's already bagged the Kenyan Twit Of The Year award!

[RV Pundit]

Omollo,

Your thinking is so old school. I agree with Veritas. In a modern relationship you have to respect the couple or individual choices...including the choice to not have babies..or when to have them.

[Mintos]

I thought the marriage ended coz Vero was found cheating on Fidel with his friend Don B Gichana?

[Mr Mansfield.]

I read somewhere Wanjiru has a young daughter which means she was not barren and deliberately failed to give fidel a baby due to 'unknown reasons',Below is a link of Fidel with lwam kissing in October 2010,one year before he filed for divorce...that means this marriage didn't even practically exist,they must have parted ways way back in 2008,

http://www.wazua.co.ke/forum.aspx?g=posts&t=16307&p=2

Without Prejudice.

[Omollo]

In retrospect, I see that what Fidel lacked was a good PR firm to fix his reputation. Reading the link that Mansfield provided I can't help noticing the failure to react to media hostility at an early stage.

[gout]

someone should remind Oburu that he is now an elitist grandparent ..travelled and schooled all over the globe