The agikuyu BRIDE

[KenyanPlato]

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The Agikuyu would after all the courtship between couples arrange for the age mates of the Groom to organize the stealing of the bridegroom. The groom friends would ambush the bride as carried her chores such as tending to crops in the field. They would snatch her and deliver her to the grooms mother. It is in the grooms mother bedroom where the bride would spend 7 days of vigil. During these days her age mates would prepare food and go to her rooms window and spend the day singing soulful songs mourning the loss of the bridegroom sinister hood. After 7 days of the vigil, the bride would get her house prepared and the eldest sister inlaw would set the kitchen stones for her and help her prepare the first meal. After this all the ceremonies would commmence culminating with the wedding AKA RURACIO.

[RV Pundit]

What role of FGM. This sound complicated. In our place FGM was everything because that was when woman was expected to be married off almost immediately.

After FGM seclusion - women would be guarded for few days - as eligible men tried to steal them.In kalenjin - if you manage to tie the woman with "Kikuyu" grass that you see in Kijabe road hapo highway - Segutiet in kalenjin - she would be you woman - unless you oil her with butter.

Anyway stealing was mostly for outcasts and such kind of people - who would be beaten senselessly anyway. Exception was few smitthen young couples.

Typically if you wanted to marry - you identity the fgmed girl - and send your parents friends - to plead your case to her parents.

If they like you - you'd get her. If the elder sister was not married - they will ask you to take the elder one first .

If the parents agreed - a koito or ruracio will be set - and you'd negotiate dowry. Ruracio would end with tying her hand or leg with kikiyu grass - engagment ring. The actual weeding ceremony would be done at night - with some nakedness involved - more like circumscion rite with your wife.. - both wedding and circumscion - have the same name - tumdo - coz you went through something almost like a oathing thing.

Stealing was allowed but also punishable by serious beating - and very risk - if their brothers came and rescued her - so it had to be done in extreme secrecy.

Stealing only worked if girl liked you - and parents objected or would object - and you normally would keep the girl far away - until parents had cooled down - otherwise the brothers or relatives would attack you and retreive the girl - force you to OIL the girl (divorce) - for having tied the Segutiet grass on her - she was yours until your divorces (which Kalenjin do by applying oil on their face in presence of witnesses).

Kalenjin women who want to be divorced would tell the husband OIL them - and some men would'd time the woman in market day - buy blue bland and oil them - otherwise if you didn't - she could come 20yrs later with 10 kids and they would be yours.

Oiling in kalenjin - is typical applying milk butter or animal fat on someone face - and is a blessing - so you have to bless your ex-wife to go away and find other men.

[Arcadian_Dreamer]

The Agikuyu would after all the courtship between couples arrange for the age mates of the Groom to organize the stealing of the bridegroom. The groom friends would ambush the bride as carried her chores such as tending to crops in the field. They would snatch her and deliver her to the grooms mother. It is in the grooms mother bedroom where the bride would spend 7 days of vigil. During these days her age mates would prepare food and go to her rooms window and spend the day singing soulful songs mourning the loss of the bridegroom sinister hood. After 7 days of the vigil, the bride would get her house prepared and the eldest sister inlaw would set the kitchen stones for her and help her prepare the first meal. After this all the ceremonies would commmence culminating with the wedding AKA RURACIO.

I thought you hated tribal rituals and backward culture. What is the point in regaling us with useless info?

Simple biological act of coitus is unnecessarily complicated by man, ama it is just an excuse to party and unwind from life.

[KenyanPlato]

Arcadia
Just got this from my mum and found it interesting. Not that I would ever practice it advocate for it

[KenyanPlato]

RV Pundit
I think this was done post paying bride price and all the other ceremonies. I will clarify with my mum. So the act of "stealing " was purely ritualistic

[Kim Jong-Un's Pajama Pants]

The Agikuyu would after all the courtship between couples arrange for the age mates of the Groom to organize the stealing of the bridegroom. The groom friends would ambush the bride as carried her chores such as tending to crops in the field. They would snatch her and deliver her to the grooms mother. It is in the grooms mother bedroom where the bride would spend 7 days of vigil. During these days her age mates would prepare food and go to her rooms window and spend the day singing soulful songs mourning the loss of the bridegroom sinister hood. After 7 days of the vigil, the bride would get her house prepared and the eldest sister inlaw would set the kitchen stones for her and help her prepare the first meal. After this all the ceremonies would commmence culminating with the wedding AKA RURACIO.

I thought you hated tribal rituals and backward culture. What is the point in regaling us with useless info?

Simple biological act of coitus is unnecessarily complicated by man, ama it is just an excuse to party and unwind from life.

I see it as a window into the African mind even if you don't subscribe to it.

[RV Pundit]

Kalenjin iko hapa
https://hivisasa.com/posts/interesting-steps-in-traditional-marriage-ceremony-amongst-the-kalenjin-community

[RV Pundit]

The groom took one-half of the grass and tied a loose bracelet on the right wrist of the bride. The bride then tied the other half of the grass on the right wrist of the groom. After the tying together, the bride and groom drank mursiik from the same cup. They also used wooden knife, and with the same hands of both of them on it, they cut the kimyeet (ugali) from the same kiisyet (small basket for food).It was the first wife who accompanied her husband when he was called upon to perform as poiyoot-aap tuum (priest). Marrying many wives was also a source of bride in that it showed that someone was wealthy.

Museet is another form of marriage whereby, a mother of a young man would take the place of her son and marry a girl on his behalf.

[RV Pundit]

Kalenjin traditional wedding mirrors the christian wedding - with pre-wedding sort  - with engagment ring of grass - then wedding ceremony that culminated in cutting ugali after tying the grass on each other wrists.

There was elopement - which was allowed for girls whose parents would refuse the man - but very rare.

There woman to woman marriage - for old barren or maleless woman.  Mother marrying on behalf of a son at war (generally such single son were not allowed to go to war - but if they did - their parents would try to marry a girl in case they died in war)

[Arcadian_Dreamer]

I see it as a window into the African mind even if you don't subscribe to it.

Aka the heart of darkness 

[Kim Jong-Un's Pajama Pants]

I see it as a window into the African mind even if you don't subscribe to it.

Aka the heart of darkness 

Not always.  Sometimes also enlightenment.  Who we are when we take off the nice suits.

[Arcadian_Dreamer]

I see it as a window into the African mind even if you don't subscribe to it.

Aka the heart of darkness 

Not always.  Sometimes also enlightenment.  Who we are when we take off the nice suits.

Cowardice, male chauvinism, animal cruelty, superstition, sadistic violence etc I have found nothing enlightened about tribal rituals.

[Kim Jong-Un's Pajama Pants]

I see it as a window into the African mind even if you don't subscribe to it.

Aka the heart of darkness 

Not always.  Sometimes also enlightenment.  Who we are when we take off the nice suits.

Cowardice, male chauvinism, animal cruelty, superstition, sadistic violence etc I have found nothing enlightened about tribal rituals.

It shines a light on who we are.  Don't you find that enlightening?

[Arcadian_Dreamer]

I see it as a window into the African mind even if you don't subscribe to it.

Aka the heart of darkness 

Not always.  Sometimes also enlightenment.  Who we are when we take off the nice suits.

Cowardice, male chauvinism, animal cruelty, superstition, sadistic violence etc I have found nothing enlightened about tribal rituals.

It shines a light on who we are.  Don't you find that enlightening?

Illuminating is the word your are going for. Yes, definitely.

[Kim Jong-Un's Pajama Pants]

Not always.  Sometimes also enlightenment.  Who we are when we take off the nice suits.

Cowardice, male chauvinism, animal cruelty, superstition, sadistic violence etc I have found nothing enlightened about tribal rituals.

It shines a light on who we are.  Don't you find that enlightening?

Illuminating is the word your are going for. Yes, definitely.

Well yeah.  The point I am making is at the end of the day, we are a tribal species.  Yes, including westerners.  We have social cues(some evolve to the level of rituals) that members of the tribe generally subscribe to.

More importantly I am not convinced there is nothing useful anyone can take away from what you call African tribal rituals.  In any case it's a subjective issue.  I think "stealing a bride" has a very different meaning in traditional Agikuyu society than kidnapping a girl from Nairobi or New York would be in the urban setting.

[RV Pundit]

Eloping in NY now would be similarly to you kid turning gay and asking you to attend their gay marriage - which most parents might reject - initially - and eventually come around if the couple are that serious.

Most marriages are really "communal" or "family"- there is a lot beyond the two persons - as people want their woman or man to be accepted by their families - and

Well yeah.  The point I am making is at the end of the day, we are a tribal species.  Yes, including westerners.  We have social cues(some evolve to the level of rituals) that members of the tribe generally subscribe to.

More importantly I am not convinced there is nothing useful anyone can take away from what you call African tribal rituals.  In any case it's a subjective issue.  I think "stealing a bride" has a very different meaning in traditional Agikuyu society than kidnapping a girl from Nairobi or New York would be in the urban setting.