Nipate
Forum => Kenya Discussion => Topic started by: RV Pundit on September 09, 2014, 05:46:07 PM
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There is nothing now i dread than staying with my 4yr old daughter;i have to disappear to bar sometimes for peace of mind; I think she has ADD or ADHD; hyper active; she can really strains and drive your nuts; she has driven all mboochs until we just gave up; i try all sort of tricks;when she arrives from school and she done with homework in a flash (if you thought that would buy you time..pole); read this book; she quickly scan through it in a flash and she is back demanding for more activities; draw this; play computers game; done that in 10 minutes and bored; watch tv; she can barely concentrate and when she does in a the few programmes; she so consumed by her fidgetting you'd think she is part of the cast; again 20 minutes or so bored; next thing;you have to play all sort of games; she use to say we play 10; then 20; now it 100 or sometimes she say a million times; tried locking her in her room; even spanking her; nothing working. She though is a joy to watch as she read beyond her level; do maths beyond a level; and her computer skills are already amazing; she can definitely design better graphics for rcbowen.
So here am off to the bar...before she checks in...with drama till 10pm. Parenting 101.
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There is nothing i now i dread than staying with my 4yr old daughter;i have to disappear to bar sometimes for peace of mind; I think she has ADD or ADHD; she can really strains and drive your nuts; she has driven all mboochs until we just gave up; i try all sort of tricks;when she arrives from school and she done with homework in a flash; read this book; she quickly scan through it in a flash and she is back demanding for more activities; draw this; play computers game; done that in 10 minutes and bored; watch tv; she can barely concentrate and when she does in a the few programmes; she so consumed by her fidgetting you'd think she is part of the cast; again 20 minutes or so bored; next thing;you have to play all sort of games; she use to say we play 10; then 20; now it 100 or sometimes she say a million times;
So here am off to the bar...before she checks in...with drama till 10pm.
That is the mistake you are making....get her involved in any sports activity. soccer, swimming, running, hide n sick and let her wear herself out. She is probably too smart and ahead of the curve that is why she is getting bored with the mediocre activities you are offering. Make her do some standrad 4-5 maths and you may breed a genius. Or start pooping some more kids like yesterday to give her company....that is the problem with one only child.
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:lol: I like the new site on RCB. Mobile friendly. Big transition though for members...
She sounds like a sweety! Send her to me. I can show her koala bears.
(http://animals.sandiegozoo.org/sites/default/files/styles/feeds_animal_thumbnail/public/koala_thumb.jpg?itok=4tq_Vl1a)
An hour with me and she'll be exhausted. My ADD kids go Miss! miss! My head hurts! Why? As a child I had the EXACT same problem. I've been in her shoes. You've got to ensure she has something on ALL the time. Ballet, horse riding, kickboxing, piano, regimented lifestyle.
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She is just trouble.I do try my best but playing so many times is not easy...she just too hyper. As soon as she was born;she started sucking her thumb until it turned white; i thought she would wear off her thumb; then luckly she outgrew that after 1 or 2yrs; then she couldn't talk until last yr; when she was 3yrs; she started talking in sentences; now i have had her jump classes to pre-unit though she is 4; The day i took her to shags..and i saw there were many kids and she liked it..i escaped immediately to Nairobi.
I think i will teach her more computers.... teachers in her pre-schools protested when i tried to teach her more....some lecture they gave me about sijui Montessori...so we agreed she moves a class...to make her a little interested...add suplimentary work..nothing doing..she finishes off in minute.
That is the mistake you are making....get her involved in any sports activity. soccer, swimming, running, hide n sick and let her wear herself out. She is probably too smart and ahead of the curve that is why she is getting bored with the mediocre activities you are offering. Make her do some standrad 4-5 maths and you may breed a genius. Or start pooping some more kids like yesterday to give her company....that is the problem with one only child.
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I'm with Mya, sports could contain her. You may have a star athlete.
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I think i will be asking for tips from you; sometimes i am so frustrated esp when i have deadline i end up spanking her and locking her; then i feel quilty; so i prefer heading straight to the bar to find her asleep; the first thing when she wakes up is to find out why i went to drink and yet we had agreed i do not drink..so we can play.
An hour with me and she'll be exhausted. My ADD kids go Miss! miss! My head hurts! Why? As a child I had the EXACT same problem. I've been in her shoes. You've got to ensure she has something on ALL the time. Ballet, horse riding, kickboxing, piano, regimented lifestyle.
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Pundit
Welcome to fatherhood. I remember my 4yr old son used to be very active. His brain was faster than anyone else. But overall thats what 4yr olds do. Its not ADD or whatever. Some are quiet and some are very active. Just make sure that you match her speed.
At this age they are playful and that's what you should engage her in. Use other tools so that its fun, otherwise she will be easily bored and lose focus. The goal is to have her focus. There are many games that the two of you can play that will help. Buy coloring books and crayons, do yours and let her do hers. Compare then ask her to make it as good as yours. Be very very patient. If 2mins is all she can tolerate, take it. Keep doing it daily until she can sit and draw on her own.
She is just trouble.I do try my best but playing so many times is not easy...she just too hyper. As soon as she was born;she started sucking her thumb until it turned white; i thought she would wear off her thumb; then luckly she outgrew that after 1 or 2yrs; then she couldn't talk until last yr; when she was 3yrs; she started talking in sentences; now i have had her jump classes to pre-unit though she is 4; The day i took her to shags..and i saw there were many kids and she liked it..i escaped immediately to Nairobi.
I think i will teach her more computers.... teachers in her pre-schools protested when i tried to teach her more....some lecture they gave me about sijui Montessori...so we agreed she moves a class...to make her a little interested.
That is the mistake you are making....get her involved in any sports activity. soccer, swimming, running, hide n sick and let her wear herself out. She is probably too smart and ahead of the curve that is why she is getting bored with the mediocre activities you are offering. Make her do some standrad 4-5 maths and you may breed a genius. Or start pooping some more kids like yesterday to give her company....that is the problem with one only child.
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The playing part she likes...but she is not contended with us playing for 30mins or 1hr..she want to play until 10pm when she falls asleep. Bought those drawing and colouring...she quickly draw and get bored. She just want to do everything fast. Even her handwritting are getting worse..she just quickly scriple thro and is done. You tell her to read a book...she read so quickly..you can barely reply to an email..before she turn the last page. It has to be small interesting many activities. Computer games and graphics seem to keep her down for few minutes....and that is where i am now.
Pundit
Welcome to fatherhood. I remember my 4yr old son used to be very active. His brain was faster than anyone else. But overall thats what 4yr olds do. Its not ADD or whatever. Some are quiet and some are very active. Just make sure that you match her speed.
At this age they are playful and that's what you should engage her in. Use other tools so that its fun, otherwise she will be easily bored and lose focus. The goal is to have her focus. There are many games that the two of you can play that will help. Buy coloring books and crayons, do yours and let her do hers. Compare then ask her to make it as good as yours. Be very very patient. If 2mins is all she can tolerate, take it. Keep doing it daily until she can sit and draw on her own.
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Punda lives in Mavoko. Last time i checked , there were no swimming pools anywhere near Mavoko, no play grounds for kids to run , cycle , play ball. Just blocks of flats , pubs , dusty path etc.
That kid would be much happier mashinani.
That is the mistake you are making....get her involved in any sports activity. soccer, swimming, running, hide n sick and let her wear herself out.
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Arent you talking about my son?
Cartoons were his favorite. He could not focus for a min, but I worked hard. Harder than anyone else.
Dont get frustrated. Yelling and ... makes things worse.
Be very patient for the next 4yrs.
Meanwhile work on trying to have her focus.
The playing part she likes...but she is not contended with us playing for 30mins or 1hr..she want to play until 10pm when she falls asleep. Bought those drawing and colouring...she quickly draw and get bored. She just want to do everything fast. Even her handwritting are getting worse..she just quickly scriple thro and is done. You tell her to read a book...she read so quickly..you can barely reply to an email..before she turn the last page. It has to be small interesting many activities. Computer games and graphics seem to keep her down for few minutes....and that is where i am now.
Pundit
Welcome to fatherhood. I remember my 4yr old son used to be very active. His brain was faster than anyone else. But overall thats what 4yr olds do. Its not ADD or whatever. Some are quiet and some are very active. Just make sure that you match her speed.
At this age they are playful and that's what you should engage her in. Use other tools so that its fun, otherwise she will be easily bored and lose focus. The goal is to have her focus. There are many games that the two of you can play that will help. Buy coloring books and crayons, do yours and let her do hers. Compare then ask her to make it as good as yours. Be very very patient. If 2mins is all she can tolerate, take it. Keep doing it daily until she can sit and draw on her own.
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Parker, I think RVP's little princess sounds more than a handful for a 4 year old. Like when I was 4, I drew on the walls in pen so it was harder for ma to scrub off. I would climb to high places like the top of a book shelf, just to test their reaction. I would scream in public places just to get attention. At 7 my first computer shut me up. I was on that little mac literally day and night on kid pix, prince of persia, writing stories etc.
RVP, I pride myself in turning little ones into cherubs. You need to speak her language. You've got to look her in the eye and be honest. Treat her like a mini adult, with respect. Set boundaries and keep your side of the bargain. Like, if you draw me a Picasso replica I will tell you a funny story. Don't get her to draw anything, get her to bring out her best drawing skills. Make her do her best in EVERYTHING. It'll take her longer and she'll develop a discipline to be patient and less stir crazy. She sounds like a perfectionist, channel that.
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Lots of open spaces in mavokos;i have swing; she has bikes; and all toys; she goes to school then from 4p till 6pm she is dropped at her aunt chemist; and then her mother drop her home around now; and then it's me and her; There are kids but seem all kids after playing with her once or twice..ran away from her hyperactivity.....she can demand you play with her 100 times.....
Punda lives in Mavoko. Last time i checked , there were no swimming pools anywhere near Mavoko, no play grounds for kids to run , cycle , play ball. Just blocks of flats , pubs , dusty path etc.
That kid would be much happier mashinani.
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She needs space to burn that energy. Punda should consider moving house to where there is open living like this place in Athi River. She can cycle and play outside with other kids freely. Not living behind wall.
(https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSYlhqo1nzeOgGMf3QM2YDHaPOTCVtFmJcnn7VCfiFRVw9Vrc5Sxg)
Pundit
Welcome to fatherhood. I remember my 4yr old son used to be very active. His brain was faster than anyone else. But overall thats what 4yr olds do. Its not ADD or whatever. Some are quiet and some are very active. Just make sure that you match her speed.
At this age they are playful and that's what you should engage her in. Use other tools so that its fun, otherwise she will be easily bored and lose focus. The goal is to have her focus. There are many games that the two of you can play that will help. Buy coloring books and crayons, do yours and let her do hers. Compare then ask her to make it as good as yours. Be very very patient. If 2mins is all she can tolerate, take it. Keep doing it daily until she can sit and draw on her own.
She is just trouble.I do try my best but playing so many times is not easy...she just too hyper. As soon as she was born;she started sucking her thumb until it turned white; i thought she would wear off her thumb; then luckly she outgrew that after 1 or 2yrs; then she couldn't talk until last yr; when she was 3yrs; she started talking in sentences; now i have had her jump classes to pre-unit though she is 4; The day i took her to shags..and i saw there were many kids and she liked it..i escaped immediately to Nairobi.
I think i will teach her more computers.... teachers in her pre-schools protested when i tried to teach her more....some lecture they gave me about sijui Montessori...so we agreed she moves a class...to make her a little interested.
That is the mistake you are making....get her involved in any sports activity. soccer, swimming, running, hide n sick and let her wear herself out. She is probably too smart and ahead of the curve that is why she is getting bored with the mediocre activities you are offering. Make her do some standrad 4-5 maths and you may breed a genius. Or start pooping some more kids like yesterday to give her company....that is the problem with one only child.
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Interesting. Seem i have to put hardwork to find interesting activities. Another problem she cannot play with younger kids of her age..unless she is bossing them around..before they cry and go back to their mother never to return.Yap she drives us nuts..sometimes we just have to beat the hell out of her and lock her...illegal but this is kenya. i personally received my unfair spanking....i think i was being beaten daily for being rude.
Parker, I think RVP's little princess sounds more than a handful for a 4 year old. Like when I was 4, I drew on the walls in pen so it was harder for ma to scrub off. I would climb to high places like the top of a book shelf, just to test their reaction. I would scream in public places just to get attention. At 7 my first computer shut me up. I was on that little mac literally day and night on kid pix, prince of persia, writing stories etc.
RVP, I pride myself in turning little ones into cherubs. You need to speak her language. You've got to look her in the eye and be honest. Treat her like a mini adult, with respect. Set boundaries and keep your side of the bargain. Like, if you draw me a Picasso replica I will tell you a funny story. Don't get her to draw anything, get her to bring out her best drawing skills. Make her do her best in EVERYTHING. It'll take her longer and she'll develop a discipline to be patient and less stir crazy. She's a perfectionist, channel that.
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Jakoyo
its not about space rather the kid is repetitive - common with 4yr olds. They ask same question 100 times. They also want to play the same game 200 times. Punda is being taught to be patient, but he lashes and yells and spanks. No No NO.
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Yes repetitive. That probably what is happening.
Jakoyo
its not about space rather the kid is repetitive - common with 4yr olds. They ask same question 100 times. They also want to play the same game 200 times. Punda is being taught to be patient, but he lashes and yells and spanks. No No NO.
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Punda,
No spanking. You'll regret it. She willl do it to the younger ones if you do. She will also take it to her peers at school. Get someone her age to play with. At this age they need confidence, and the only way to get it. Supervise playtime until you are sure that she knows the rules - no hitting, share, play nice, etc. If you dont she will develop hers.
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Yes repetitive. That probably what is happening.
Jakoyo
its not about space rather the kid is repetitive - common with 4yr olds. They ask same question 100 times. They also want to play the same game 200 times. Punda is being taught to be patient, but he lashes and yells and spanks. No No NO.
Yes, channel that repetition in a productive way. Make her do thousands of simple addition and subtraction equations online, ask her to draw a circle a thousand different ways, draw stick figures a hundred different ways, give her recycled objects like yogurt cups, string, streamers and ask her to build a shopping centre in a room. They all have to be her BEST quality. Give her repetitive challenges. When I was little my folks spanked me a lot, shockingly a lot. I had to raid the recycling bin myself and build a city in my room, get textas as citizens, I had to make do. Don't be that parent. Treat her with respect.
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At that age I was reading newspapers cover to cover -whatever I could read (nation standard and weekly review). When my dad came home I told him news of the day.
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Queen, omg, you sound like a prodigy. At that age I did everything in my little power to test their limits like take a dump on their newspapers before they woke up.
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I wasn't necessarily a prodigy, but remember being a deep thinker. I analyzed everything including kids on playground. My siblings make jokes that I liked to sit on the steps and watch kids get dirty while I read the paper.
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Wow. You and I would've been besties back then. :D
Me crapping on your newspaper. That would've given you A LOT to analyse. I was a very popular kid and teen. Didn't think at all. I demanded my 20 inner circle friends come with me to church camp, so they all followed and we brought the place down with our hotness. I was a bit nasty as well. I bullied shy, nice girls. I once threw a party (I was the DJ) with 400 peeps. I wasn't much of a thinker AT ALL. I think later in Uni I began to think a bit. .
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You strike me more as an independent. How did u end up with more Kenyan friends? :-). I was pretty popular too but shied from capitalizing on it. Some of my pals were once stopped by random campus guys asking them if they know me. I get terrified of things like that.
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FYI I'm finally beginning to see my narcissism :-). Not cute.
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I had a breakdown and ran away to Kenya. While I was there I became popular mainly with friends in NARC (president Kibaki) now in Jubilee. I was there for a couple years and broke ties with my friends back home. They think I'm dead. Even held a eulogy for me. When I told them I was alive, most refused to believe. I'm a totally different person now.
Campus guys? Wow, you sound very, very shy. I've shagged a couple professors. Did you ever shag one?
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You don't seem narcissistic? Am I missing the picture somewhere?
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Nope I was in my second year in high school and very minimal socially and there was a university campus nearby. My pals taught Sunday school nearby and we're approached by a group of dudes looking for me asking if there is a girl in this group called Agrippa. Scary!
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Why were they looking for you? What did they want?
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Still a mystery, but my roommate was terrified.
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Veritas your Kenyan stint is very interesting, karen blixenish. I just wish you could have fallen for a Kenyan maasai and settled blissfully in Kajiado, anyone but Ole Ole hahaha.
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Queen, omg, you sound like a prodigy. At that age I did everything in my little power to test their limits like take a dump on their newspapers before they woke up.
Take a what? OMG you deserved all the spanking veritas. That is so gross, I aought to spank you as an adult just for putting your poor parents through that.
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My88 ??? my folks have been through A LOT. I was a very difficult child. When ma saw it, she cleaned it up without a word. I was like.. :-\
Queen, I was engaged to a Kikuyu chap for a couple years. We split. I've been engaged twice.
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Yes repetitive. That probably what is happening.
Jakoyo
its not about space rather the kid is repetitive - common with 4yr olds. They ask same question 100 times. They also want to play the same game 200 times. Punda is being taught to be patient, but he lashes and yells and spanks. No No NO.
Also remember that most great men and women at some point in their childhood (or so they say) people thought they had ADHD or some sort of dysfuntion. There is a family of 6 in the US that all kids graduated from college at 14 years old. They were all home schooled due to problems of being bored at school. One was a doctot at 22, the other a lawyer or judge (dont remember) another a chemist etc.....raw skills and good genes. Channel her energy into some useful activity and you may bring out the best that hasnt been tapped yet. If you have runners in your family, introduce her to that as well.
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Still a mystery, but my roommate was terrified.
You were boarding in school? Jeez Brynn, that must've been tough..
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My88 ??? my folks have been through A LOT. I was a very difficult child. When ma saw it, she cleaned it up without a word. I was like.. :-\
Queen, I was engaged to a Kikuyu chap for a couple years. We split. I've been engaged twice.
Veri you should put out of manual for parents who may be struggling so they dont make the same mistakes.
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My88 ??? my folks have been through A LOT. I was a very difficult child. When ma saw it, she cleaned it up without a word. I was like.. :-\
Queen, I was engaged to a Kikuyu chap for a couple years. We split. I've been engaged twice.
Gee. I guess marriage is not in ur mix.
People should get married younger coz now it's harder for me to just get into a relationship. My friend is still stunned I didn't set up a lunch date with the hot Senegalese. Not with Ebola news peaking :/).
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My88, that's a great idea. I'll hire a ghostwriter. I can't be bothered to write in a language parents can understand. I mean why should I when they didn't even bother understanding me when I was a bub.
Queen, marriage scares me. I can't share a bed with a smelly man for the rest of my life. I want to sleep alone and be sad and depressed. I have to pretend to be happy if he's around.
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Just from the bar; thanks for all comments; Here i dedicated two of her drawings with her mother i found on my computer
oops need to figure how to attach.
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Oh gosh, sweety! Asante sana love it! :D
She certainly has an eye for detail. Her spatial prowess is exquisite. I can see why she may seem difficult.
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Modern life has made parenting extra extra difficult, methinks. I saw this topic on "the Talk" the other day. In the old days, you simply released your child to play until hunger brought her home for lunch, dirty from head to toe. She would've simply been sent to the bafu to wash, eaten and sooner or later fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion.
Pundit....how is she on the weekend when there's no school?
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Pundit,
That's interesting. Chances are you will figure it out better if you can recall yourself at those ages.
At 2 is when I can definitively say I remember anything. I recall visiting a convent(I didn't know then what it was). The pews and the smell of wood.
The toilet seat. Big and scary. That is the furthest I can dig from my memories.
At 3 I recall seeing KICC from the car. The smell of peremende(tamtam) in a muhindis duka. Looking up at the full moon with awe. Hating the site of avocado. Being fascinated beyond imagination by a guitar playing neighbor. A warm glass of milk in bed.
At 4, I could look at picture stories. The words simply faded into obscurity. Never made sense of them. I was never ever going to get past the pictures. Climbing trees was heaven.
The first things I was ever taught were about religion. The pictures in the Bible stories were captivating.
I only start making out letters at 5 in Nusery school. But the swings and the stationary old convertible with no windows are far more interesting than A, B, C.
You obviously have your own memories at those ages. If you dig into them, they might just give you insights. Especially if you see traces of yourself in the child.
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I doubt you have a kid or wife,i find it an imaginary story,
Without Prejudice.
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I am also imaginary.
I doubt you have a kid or wife,i find it an imaginary story,
Without Prejudice.
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I remember seeing things as a bub. Like lizards under the the couch. Noone believed me. It took 20 years later for me to prove that lizards live under the couch. I must've had super eyes back then.i was terribly sensitive to sights, sounds, taste etc. at 6 months I drunk from a cup, I refused to suckle. Kids can remember.
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Punda you are under attack @ .com . Guess by who ?
http://nipate.com/mr-kimetrica-beats-the-hell-out-of-his-bright-daughter-t46709.html
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Under 5; i can't recall much but i know i was too a difficult child; my mother thought i was half deaf; given i would be there but my mind would be elsewhere so sometimes i am being shouted at and am staring blankly.anyway i think i too was ADD (i have world record in forgetfullness and loosing things). schooling..i didn't really go for pre-school..i went straight to std 1 aged 5 yrs..i remember badly wanting to go to school just to get nyayo milk..i loved the taste of that milk.
Pundit,
That's interesting. Chances are you will figure it out better if you can recall yourself at those ages.
At 2 is when I can definitively say I remember anything. I recall visiting a convent(I didn't know then what it was). The pews and the smell of wood.
The toilet seat. Big and scary. That is the furthest I can dig from my memories.
At 3 I recall seeing KICC from the car. The smell of peremende(tamtam) in a muhindis duka. Looking up at the full moon with awe. Hating the site of avocado. Being fascinated beyond imagination by a guitar playing neighbor. A warm glass of milk in bed.
At 4, I could look at picture stories. The words simply faded into obscurity. Never made sense of them. I was never ever going to get past the pictures. Climbing trees was heaven.
The first things I was ever taught were about religion. The pictures in the Bible stories were captivating.
I only start making out letters at 5 in Nusery school. But the swings and the stationary old convertible with no windows are far more interesting than A, B, C.
You obviously have your own memories at those ages. If you dig into them, they might just give you insights. Especially if you see traces of yourself in the child.
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The old fool is so confused after we left..he has tried retracing his steps back to rcbowen...eventually he will be here..with a new moniker..nipate.com is on it's last kicking days. The kicks are powerful now..but they are from a dying horse.
This is new forum that is going to kick arse...as long as veritas stays committed.
Can you imagine his bitterness with me...arose when i told him about my little history with that company. Somebody would thing i ate his chickens :D :D...all i ever did is to seek advice and tell my life story..like i have done here with my daughter.
Bitter coz his life is one BIG FAILURE.
Punda you are under attack @ .com . Guess by who ?
http://nipate.com/mr-kimetrica-beats-the-hell-out-of-his-bright-daughter-t46709.html
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Thanks RVP. :D
I recall back in RCB I asked him gently to join Nipate.com and he responded "I'm NEVER joining insult, insult." Again, "I'm never joining insult, insult." Obstinate fart.
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This is the reason we had Rwanda, now Iraq....
People think that they are superior to others, so the minority takes up arms. Had Shiites compromised, Iraq will be a great country but now it stands in rubbles.
This guy reasons and thinks the same....
Punda you are under attack @ .com . Guess by who ?
http://nipate.com/mr-kimetrica-beats-the-hell-out-of-his-bright-daughter-t46709.html
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Pundit, that sounds like a smart normal 4 year old to me. Enjoy this phase because it will not last as long as you would like it to and it will be your best memories of her. Girls are especially attached to Daddy.