Nipate
Forum => Kenya Discussion => Topic started by: KenyanPlato on July 21, 2021, 01:46:32 AM
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The Agikuyu would after all the courtship between couples arrange for the age mates of the Groom to organize the stealing of the bridegroom. The groom friends would ambush the bride as carried her chores such as tending to crops in the field. They would snatch her and deliver her to the grooms mother. It is in the grooms mother bedroom where the bride would spend 7 days of vigil. During these days her age mates would prepare food and go to her rooms window and spend the day singing soulful songs mourning the loss of the bridegroom sinister hood. After 7 days of the vigil, the bride would get her house prepared and the eldest sister inlaw would set the kitchen stones for her and help her prepare the first meal. After this all the ceremonies would commmence culminating with the wedding AKA RURACIO.
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What role of FGM. This sound complicated. In our place FGM was everything because that was when woman was expected to be married off almost immediately.
After FGM seclusion - women would be guarded for few days - as eligible men tried to steal them.In kalenjin - if you manage to tie the woman with "Kikuyu" grass that you see in Kijabe road hapo highway - Segutiet in kalenjin - she would be you woman - unless you oil her with butter.
Anyway stealing was mostly for outcasts and such kind of people - who would be beaten senselessly anyway. Exception was few smitthen young couples.
Typically if you wanted to marry - you identity the fgmed girl - and send your parents friends - to plead your case to her parents.
If they like you - you'd get her. If the elder sister was not married - they will ask you to take the elder one first :).
If the parents agreed - a koito or ruracio will be set - and you'd negotiate dowry. Ruracio would end with tying her hand or leg with kikiyu grass - engagment ring. The actual weeding ceremony would be done at night - with some nakedness involved - more like circumscion rite with your wife.. :) :) - both wedding and circumscion - have the same name - tumdo - coz you went through something almost like a oathing thing.
Stealing was allowed but also punishable by serious beating - and very risk - if their brothers came and rescued her - so it had to be done in extreme secrecy.
Stealing only worked if girl liked you - and parents objected or would object - and you normally would keep the girl far away - until parents had cooled down - otherwise the brothers or relatives would attack you and retreive the girl - force you to OIL the girl (divorce) - for having tied the Segutiet grass on her - she was yours until your divorces (which Kalenjin do by applying oil on their face in presence of witnesses).
Kalenjin women who want to be divorced would tell the husband OIL them - and some men would'd time the woman in market day - buy blue bland and oil them - otherwise if you didn't - she could come 20yrs later with 10 kids and they would be yours.
Oiling in kalenjin - is typical applying milk butter or animal fat on someone face - and is a blessing - so you have to bless your ex-wife to go away and find other men.
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The Agikuyu would after all the courtship between couples arrange for the age mates of the Groom to organize the stealing of the bridegroom. The groom friends would ambush the bride as carried her chores such as tending to crops in the field. They would snatch her and deliver her to the grooms mother. It is in the grooms mother bedroom where the bride would spend 7 days of vigil. During these days her age mates would prepare food and go to her rooms window and spend the day singing soulful songs mourning the loss of the bridegroom sinister hood. After 7 days of the vigil, the bride would get her house prepared and the eldest sister inlaw would set the kitchen stones for her and help her prepare the first meal. After this all the ceremonies would commmence culminating with the wedding AKA RURACIO.
I thought you hated tribal rituals and backward culture. What is the point in regaling us with useless info?
Simple biological act of coitus is unnecessarily complicated by man, ama it is just an excuse to party and unwind from life.
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Arcadia
Just got this from my mum and found it interesting. Not that I would ever practice it advocate for it
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RV Pundit
I think this was done post paying bride price and all the other ceremonies. I will clarify with my mum. So the act of "stealing " was purely ritualistic
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The Agikuyu would after all the courtship between couples arrange for the age mates of the Groom to organize the stealing of the bridegroom. The groom friends would ambush the bride as carried her chores such as tending to crops in the field. They would snatch her and deliver her to the grooms mother. It is in the grooms mother bedroom where the bride would spend 7 days of vigil. During these days her age mates would prepare food and go to her rooms window and spend the day singing soulful songs mourning the loss of the bridegroom sinister hood. After 7 days of the vigil, the bride would get her house prepared and the eldest sister inlaw would set the kitchen stones for her and help her prepare the first meal. After this all the ceremonies would commmence culminating with the wedding AKA RURACIO.
I thought you hated tribal rituals and backward culture. What is the point in regaling us with useless info?
Simple biological act of coitus is unnecessarily complicated by man, ama it is just an excuse to party and unwind from life.
I see it as a window into the African mind even if you don't subscribe to it.
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Kalenjin iko hapa
https://hivisasa.com/posts/interesting-steps-in-traditional-marriage-ceremony-amongst-the-kalenjin-community
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MARRIAGES AMONG KALENJINS.
Its a long topic but its all steps which shows all procedures of marriage.
As with other ceremonies,so with marriage,but some details varied from clan to clan.Eight separate ceremonies were observed in connection with traditional Kalenjin wedding.Each ceremony could not be effected without maiyweek(Local beer). The first step was the engagement.This was preliminary visits made by the young man's father to the father of the girl selected to be his wife
The initial visit is known as kaayaaet-aap kooito.On this first visit,the father was dressed in a robe of blue monkey fur.Upon arriving at the girl's home he would stand at mabwaita(the family altar) and send a message to the girl's father.He did this by placing a noogirweet(ceremonial stick) at the mabwaita.This was the sign that he wanted to begin talks regarding marriage.No cattle tugaap kooito(cattle of dowry) were brought that first visit,but an initial agreement was made.The father's arranged another meeting day.
Kebendii kooita(one goes to the presentation of cattle) this is the first main visit of the suitor's father to the father of the girl.Usually one ox or one ox plus six sheep or goats,was taken at this time.Questions were asked about clanship,kinships and other matters which might be barriers to the marriage.At this point the matter of involvement in witchcraft was very important.If witchcraft had been practised by any member of the extended family at any time and also if there were any strange deaths. If this proven to be true, it usually caused the couple to divorce.
On the second main visit of the suitor's father to the girl's home, he offers her father teet-aap ko (the cow of inside the house).This was really not a cow but fourteen sheep and goats.By this time, the girl's father would have done some investigation about the son -in-law's character.If he did not find the young acceptable as a son-in-law, he tells the young man's father seet olda age "move to another house" or "Try another place".
If everyting was agreed upon, on the day following the visit, the groom and a friend of his age mate visited the father of the bride.The groom preceded his friend and both approched the family of the girl.The family members of the bride would annoint the visitors with butter.This was called kaailet-ab-saanik (annointing of the in-laws.The butter symbolized blessings.Then the visitors returned home.The bride was not seen on this visit.
Chutet-aap Njoor was the important ceremonial visit of the suitor to the home of his future father-in-law. It was the occasion for the suitor to be allowed to enter the njoor, the part of the house reserved for the males. The suitor was dressed in a calf-skin cloak, and he was accompanied by his motiryoot (best man). The three first met outside and sat on an ox hide near the mabwaita. There the visitors agreed to pay a sheep or a goat. They then entered the house at the back door, kurgaap saan. The kurgaap san was used by the prospective husband at this time of “taking” the daughter of the home to be his bride. Inside, they sat on skins; food was prepared and served them by a sister or friend of the bride. Before they ate, their hands were washed with water sprinkled from a gourd.
Dowry or sueet-aap Tuuga in this event a number of people had to be in on the discussion a bout the dowry and they had to reach agreement as to what this included. The girl’s parents were to know where the cattle came from, so her father would ask; “how many tuugaap lugeet are there? (How many of the cattle did the groom capture in the raid?) How many are tuugaap mabwai?” (How many of the cattle are from the father of the groom?) “How many are tuugap mwaai?” (How many cattle are from the sisters of the groom? When final agreement was reached, it was like saying, “get ready for the wedding.” At the time of girl’s marriage there could be a request from the woman who had fed her during the seclusion period of her initiation rites.
Suet-aap tuuga was the event when the animals for the dowry were brought to the salt troughs to be viewed by the bride’s family. The prospective groom was to point out the cows which he planned to give for the dowry. The sueet-aap tuuga ceremonies also include an expensive feast, food was provided, and milk and blood were drunk.
Rateet, during this day the groom along with a herd’s boy and a cheplaakweet (nurse girl for a young child) left in the early morning for the home of the bride. On reaching, the three of them would stand at the mabwaita. The bride was called to meet the groom. She would refuse to come until her father promised her a sheep or a goat. When she came out she would stand by the groom. Her father and brother would bring horns filled with butter. Four pieces of sereetyoot (green kikuyu grass) had been placed in the butter; this was significant in that its greenness showed life. Then the father would take some of the butter and anoint the groom’s forehead. The betrothal was confirmed by the man and girl tying seguutyet on each other’s wrists. Segutyet was special grass used for tying in the wedding ceremony.
Marriage (keeseet/keipis). This was the day before the bride was to come to the groom’s home. A child between the ages eight to ten years was sent to the bride’s home to let her and her people know that the wedding would be the next day.
On the next day, when groom and motiryoot (best man), on hearing her bell, went out and waited at the mabwaita where a fire had been lit. She wore a special bell and a cord around her waist and it could be heard before she actually appeared. She was expected to arrive at the groom when the moon was overhead.
When the bride appeared she and the groom came together to the mabwaita. An elder sat on the east side of house where an archway had been made with four beer tubes. The motiryoot and his wife, side by side were followed by the bride and the groom, side by side, as they marched a round the mabwaita twice. Then they entered the house to be sprayed with beer for blessing. The elder took four strand of grass and placed them across the palms of the bride and groom. The couple was then instructed to knead the grass with their hands touching. The groom took one-half of the grass and tied a loose bracelet on the right wrist of the bride. The bride then tied the other half of the grass on the right wrist of the groom. After the tying together, the bride and groom drank mursiik from the same cup. They also used wooden knife, and with the same hands of both of them on it, they cut the kimyeet (ugali) from the same kiisyet (small basket for food).
No animal was sacrificed at a wedding ceremony. An animal or animals would be killed for food but not for sacrifice. A wedding was the beginning of something new, a day celebrating life, a time of joy.
Keeteitei koroseek, this event took place morning following the tying, all of the koroseek (sacred plant) had been used was burned at the mabwaita. It was the final ceremony.
Kaatunisyeet (tororyet), this was the actual final marriage. It could be as much as several years after the betrothal. It was done after the final dowry cattle had been handed over and were found to be satisfactory.
Elopement- Following marriage by elopement, the groom’s friends tethered a sheep or a goat at the mabwaita of the bride’s father. This was a symbol of asking for forgiveness as well as a promise to give the full dowry.
In case of elopement, the same ceremonies as for an “agreed” marriage were performed after the couple returned to groom’s home, but the koroseek was not burned the following morning. It was kept until the parents agreed on the dowry, and then it was burned
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Kalenjin community has different forms of marriage and this include:
Polygamy (Syoonik), this is marrying more than one wife. The procedure for taking other wives was the same as for taking the first wife. However, there was an honor connected with being first wife. It was the first wife who accompanied her husband when he was called upon to perform as poiyoot-aap tuum (priest). Marrying many wives was also a source of bride in that it showed that someone was wealthy.
Museet is another form of marriage whereby, a mother of a young man would take the place of her son and marry a girl on his behalf. This took place when the son was a way at war. Then the mother would think, “what if my son is killed in battle? What will happen? Who will take care of me when I am old?” then the mother would choose a wife for the son who was away. If the son returned, he could immediately live with the young woman.
Kiitunji toloch, this is whereby, an old woman who had not borne children or she had not borne a son. Having no son meant that she had no- one to work for her nor protect her in her old age. It also meant that there was no one to inherit her husband’s property. The old woman would then marry a young girl who would be known as her wife. The girl would not call the older woman “husband” but mother. When young girl gave birth to children, the children would belong to the older woman.
However,Monogamous marriages (one husband and one wife) now prevail and nuclear families (a man, a woman, and their children) are becoming more common. Moreover, younger people are now expressing a desire to have fewer children when they get married. This is due to the increasing expense of having many children who not only must be fed but also educated. To some degree, young women are also changing their aspirations, wanting careers in addition to being mothers.
#Kiibs Sanjelo Rolee
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Kalenjin traditional wedding mirrors the christian wedding - with pre-wedding sort - with engagment ring of grass - then wedding ceremony that culminated in cutting ugali :) after tying the grass on each other wrists.
There was elopement - which was allowed for girls whose parents would refuse the man - but very rare.
There woman to woman marriage - for old barren or maleless woman. Mother marrying on behalf of a son at war (generally such single son were not allowed to go to war - but if they did - their parents would try to marry a girl in case they died in war)
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I see it as a window into the African mind even if you don't subscribe to it.
Aka the heart of darkness :D
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I see it as a window into the African mind even if you don't subscribe to it.
Aka the heart of darkness :D
Not always. Sometimes also enlightenment. Who we are when we take off the nice suits.
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I see it as a window into the African mind even if you don't subscribe to it.
Aka the heart of darkness :D
Not always. Sometimes also enlightenment. Who we are when we take off the nice suits.
Cowardice, male chauvinism, animal cruelty, superstition, sadistic violence etc I have found nothing enlightened about tribal rituals.
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I see it as a window into the African mind even if you don't subscribe to it.
Aka the heart of darkness :D
Not always. Sometimes also enlightenment. Who we are when we take off the nice suits.
Cowardice, male chauvinism, animal cruelty, superstition, sadistic violence etc I have found nothing enlightened about tribal rituals.
It shines a light on who we are. Don't you find that enlightening?
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I see it as a window into the African mind even if you don't subscribe to it.
Aka the heart of darkness :D
Not always. Sometimes also enlightenment. Who we are when we take off the nice suits.
Cowardice, male chauvinism, animal cruelty, superstition, sadistic violence etc I have found nothing enlightened about tribal rituals.
It shines a light on who we are. Don't you find that enlightening?
Illuminating is the word your are going for. Yes, definitely.
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Not always. Sometimes also enlightenment. Who we are when we take off the nice suits.
Cowardice, male chauvinism, animal cruelty, superstition, sadistic violence etc I have found nothing enlightened about tribal rituals.
It shines a light on who we are. Don't you find that enlightening?
Illuminating is the word your are going for. Yes, definitely.
Well yeah. The point I am making is at the end of the day, we are a tribal species. Yes, including westerners. We have social cues(some evolve to the level of rituals) that members of the tribe generally subscribe to.
More importantly I am not convinced there is nothing useful anyone can take away from what you call African tribal rituals. In any case it's a subjective issue. I think "stealing a bride" has a very different meaning in traditional Agikuyu society than kidnapping a girl from Nairobi or New York would be in the urban setting.
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Eloping in NY now would be similarly to you kid turning gay and asking you to attend their gay marriage - which most parents might reject - initially - and eventually come around if the couple are that serious.
Most marriages are really "communal" or "family"- there is a lot beyond the two persons - as people want their woman or man to be accepted by their families - and
Well yeah. The point I am making is at the end of the day, we are a tribal species. Yes, including westerners. We have social cues(some evolve to the level of rituals) that members of the tribe generally subscribe to.
More importantly I am not convinced there is nothing useful anyone can take away from what you call African tribal rituals. In any case it's a subjective issue. I think "stealing a bride" has a very different meaning in traditional Agikuyu society than kidnapping a girl from Nairobi or New York would be in the urban setting.