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RE: A LEISURELY TREK THROUGH .KE'S DOMESTICS
Mfangano:
A LEISURELY TREK THROUGH .KE'S DOMESTICS
(A RUNNING ESSAY IN PARTS)
1. IN THE SHADOWS OF A THEATRICAL SHOW
Far away from the capital city.
It has been a wonderful half year. The efforts culminated in a pre-Xmas party. It was an explosion which all but submerged Rusinga Island. I am talking about the extravaganza called the Suba cultural week. Offside, during this indulgence, Rusinga became the proverbial Island of Ogygia. The said was where the equally fabled Nymph, Kalipso Kalipso, domiciled. In deed, Ogygia is that Island of pan-like parties where ---- O the sensational tongue of poets, lyricised chronicles proclaim the gods descended to hold their divine orgies.
The heavy lifting for the cultural festival was of course done long ago. That is the organisation and co-ordination of the themes. By the time it was a guaranteed success, we left it over for the politicians to shine.
If one has followed the devastation wrought by the concluding floods, one will recognise just how decrepit the bandits running Luoland are, solution wise. The infrastructural inadequacy to cope (with the watery disaster) has been self-evident and, consequently, it is a self-explanatory indictment of the Lords of the said Lake Basin (Development Authority) Land. But on this occasion we let them shine, and shine they deed. It was a feel-good day. Life needs such days. For, for many, daily life is a dreary business that sucks.
So shine we let them, and they did. They shone like babies at a baby-shower. When wrapped neatly, such a baby is free to odoulessly soil itself underneath, O yeah, all this time shamelessly safe and admired by adults; adults duplicituous in their cunning nods of course. ---The baby looks like somebody else I know but do I say!
You, Amigo, however troglodytic, must have heard of how Governor Anyang' Nyong'o sacked them all. We are not talking about that GCG incident long ago when the professor was the national minister of Health. Nay, we are talking all Kisumu doctors during the latest phase of the systematic and endemic labour disputes. Yeah, right there is your morally decrepit and politically bankrupt infant. But aint she a beauty!? Seeing how robbed the politically senile creep is, how decorated in the expensive garments of a professor at political science, and Governor Maximus he is.
There too was my own Mawego Awiti. This His Excellency ever warrants the description of, administratively speaking, a pre-historic monster long thought extinct. I would vouch he is a Frankestein creature of the rogue mandarins at Orange House. He is and remains a perfect anecdote for the brain-death of the popular party, and not only post Handshake. Awiti Jamawego is a blown-up image of his classmate, the disgraced secretary for finance, Dr. Henry Rotich. (Rotich is the moron of the phantom dams, all in his Kerio backyard).
In the land of the living, I shook hands with The Dead. I needed not descend unto Hades to be enmeshed in rot; the world was upside down; this, I repeat, is a necrocratic dynasty.
A NECROCRATIC DYNASTY?
Perhaps I should explain the quip (necrocratic dynasty).
-------------------
2. A NECROCRATIC DYNASTY AT THE TOP.
Mfangano:
2. A NECROCRATIC DYNASTY AT THE TOP.
Perhaps I should explain the quip (necrocratic dynasty).
Historically speaking in political science, the comprador bourgeoisie –--or bandit bourgeoisie as Prof. Podp of Jukwaa preferred----- are a late class. That is, so far as spearheading both the national liberation and economic wirtschaftswunder are concerned, they are persona non grata in the driver's seat. Yet, paradoxically, this (evolutionary dead-end predator parasites) are the dominant class in the fabled, rising polities of Africa.
This historical unicum needs a ponder.
Africa is peddling a dark joke here, even if she appears to have a plan B. -----The Chinese viriles are all over the place! No worries!
In deed, every election recycles one of the local comprador's very own to the zenith of power. Kagame replaces Kagame. M7 succeeds M7. Kabila out, Kabila in. This phenomenon is not only the norm throughout the continent at large, but especially in Kenya, including Luoland and her domestic, Subaland adjunct too.
The SUSTAINED rule of a historically retired class, a brainless to brain-dead class, is a NECROCRACY. A dead-end rule unless a desperate Plan B comes into play.
NB: I am old enough to have attended the best readings of post-colonial contemplations from the front-liners. And this issue was metaphor-ed to the hilt by the mighty Sembene Ousmane: Xala
--- Quote --- El Hadji's status as a member of the economic elite, as well as his manhood, are put into question. El Hadji's affliction, Xala (or impotence), symbolizes his lack of power in both the economic and social world.
--- End quote ---
Impotence yes, wherefore the virile and really rising Chinese must come and take care of business here. In political science, that metaphor Xala translates into a NECROCRACY. Flaccid minds pretending to be in office, yet mere caretaker puppets.
Yea, brain death, intellectual implosion, mental collapse, Boko Haram malignancy, you name it!
Think: How do we explain how Rotich and Thugge, academic stars, and the rest of the consipiring treasury mandarins so successfully sabotaged the Kimwarer dams by eating away all its finance? –-They are brain-dead obviously, so far the national tasks and purpose is concerned. Their greed and gluttony is nihilist, UNTHINKING, suicidal, malignant.
The go-getter Chinese meanwhile built the Super Dam at Yang-Tze (Seven Gorges) and are busy helping the Ethiopians with their own Super Dam, the Grand Renaissance. But Rotich and Thugge necessarily had to contract Sicilians and Roman Mafioso, to knife down our national water purpose.
Vermin.
The same can be said about the National Lands Commission once under professor Muhammad Swazuri and his consigliere, Professor Ojienda. This body officiated a scam that so inflated the land rates, such that the costs of the SGR, chapter land compensation, skyrocketed (and further tightened the chains of debt servitude on the ankles of Patrick Njoroge's CBK). And so to this date, Handshake or not, BBI or not, the question of whether the port of Mombasa is still in Kenyan hands is top secret. Yes, such are the unmarked graves you chance when you leisurely wander the backyard of necrocrats.
The ease with which our hyper resource-endowed Africa passed from the double-helix chain of Breton-Woods, IMF and WB, into the debt bosom of China's EximB., is enough proof of castrated minds at the top of the continent.
In Kenya, I can continue to give (excluding the BBI fiasco) four more explications of a 'necrotic bureaucracy' serving a necrocratic dynasty, but I think the point is clearly driven home by those substantiations above.
In the land of the living I shook hands with the dead. I needed not descend unto Hades for the thrills of ghosts. Hades is of course the –--lyricised chronicles revisited---- habitat of them poor souls who no longer see the shines of Helios the Sun!
Howbeit I am a lucky one. I am alive like once again the eyes of Rosemary Odinga to see. And lets us hope this crown princess used her time in blindness to inwardly look, to see, the truths. To think the unthinkable for a dynast: class suicide. Meseems sometimes I feel lost in the make-believe wonderlands of rising African countries. But the very strong odours of decomposition, of rot and ubiquitous filth clogging every administrative meanders, keeps me awake. They hollow my stomach out like the prospect of a night at a haunted hotel. Rising or Sinking?
But I am a party animal too. For a few days I can throw all care to the wind. I like holidays and sojourns in big cities when cash is in. And so did I take a very long sojourn in the city in the sun, Nairobi. It was a retreat of sorts, not to mention the financial motives behind.
More about that later.
NB2: In the aftermath I composed a long report –--THE DARKS OF THE SUNNY CITY. Only to discover my suspension to excision from my usual puke-point. My ghostly adventures in Nairobi were profound enough to provoke a series of meditations on the domestics of dotKe.
3. MIGUNA MIGUNA
Mfangano:
3. THE SUBA CULTURAL FIESTA AND THE GHOST OF MIGUNA MIGUNA
MIGUNA MIGUNA
He is a ghost Kenyan you know. If you have a sense of humour.
There was a famous nyatiti song singing the praises of one, Okuro K'Ouma. I think it was by a harpist named Oganga Sharp. It intimated something to the effect
Jaluo modak e Luo,
en k'odhi Narobi limbe
t'opande chalone Passport!
Be Kenya kuro chal Loka!
Bu dichuni wacho Nairopgino obedu!
TRANSLATE:
For the Luos permanent in Luoland
A trip to Nairobi is verily a journey overseas
Is it the colonial day when the ID is a passport
It drives one to the verge of to hell with that Nairobi of theirs!
So there we were, discussing the fines of a cultural festival and pondering the Miguna question.
What now, to say, given we are also men of the local markets and local gossip? Okot P'Bitek style.
How now, could we accommodate the sorrowful plight of Miguna Migun into the Suba cultural marathon!?
Being a usual suspect, I wasn't going to be the one to ask that question, but once it was posed by the Old and supposedly wise, and you wouldn't guess who else, I wasn't going to develop a convenient deafness.
Nor tactical amnesia.
You see, they say at the gossip exchange, that there is this deafness on the part of big Luo academics, perhaps even like our own Dr. Adams Oloo, him of the BBI team. Them academic big guns suggest, and all without a Solomonic twinkle of the eye, that national bridges can be built and social cohesion plastered smooth, yet Akida's like Dr. Fred Matiang'i categorically insist the Nyando of Miguna's birth is in Canada, near Toronto.
This issue at the local market is a fertile ground of many a joke. Off limits I guess to the academic bureaucracy allied to the popular party. When you venture into the world of drummers, shakers (ajegejege, ajawa and gara), horn-blowers and sigueya story-chanters et al, they start giving you the looks, licking their lips as if they are ladies of the night from whom you only get what you pay for, creep that you be!
Consider this scene. You brightly step up to a man who blows an old Suba horn. The horn is from some long extinct antelope. He is welcoming but adopts a mocking smile: 'Apenji, porofesa; encha Miguna cha wagone tiun mar Otho-pi molal, koso Odhi-Dwar oduogo gi lemo turi!?'
Say, porofesa, we blow Miguna the tune of BURIAL WAS AT SEA, or do we do him the SHARP HUNTER COMES BACK LOADED!?' --And he blows a riff which you know is darker than any of the above. His grin mutates into a squint on your face; he is like a psychopath hunting for a flinch on the resolve of the prey. (May be you are Mudavadi, or Kalonzo or Weta, confronted with the MOCK or Kalongolongo oat!) There is a riff for that too!
So: Would the Suba cultural week go along with this official Luo-BBI myth, that Miguna is a Canadian being? Or, autonomies spoken, would Suba culture remind Big Brother, that we are one and inseparable, but some sh!t you will keep to your own panties, Bro. Prodigal Miguna Miguna is Ja-Nyando is our and ours!
Ka ok kamano to Kenjgino obedi! After all, Kenyan is not much of an identity really. It is hardly skin deep, which is why our politics continue to be so, dare I say, TRIBAL!
So I reckoned: Jaramogi Odinga once gave a famous speech in London, Chatam House it could be I think. He said:
KENYA IS MARWA, GI THWON.
WHETHER YOU KITHNI OR NDEKNI,
WHETHER YOU MUTNI OR LOTHNI, KENYA IS MARWA TE.
IF YOU DO NOT ACCEDE TO OUR DEMANDS FOR INDEPENDENCE, Omera Misungu, YOU WILL GET INTO ADINYDINY CORNER, AND YOU WILL HAVE TO ESCAPE THROUGH THE YIEN-WAMBEWA!
To no avail, many referential dictionaries were opened to find the LATIN WORDS the Kenyan rogue was spewing --(in his ''rambling diatribe!'' as the British press characterised it)
This joke, those proficient in the Suba mothertongue ---unlike those like me who are 90% Luonised or 'assimilados', parodied in the Miguna case, and cause.
Whether you kithni or ndekni or lothni or what
whether thee trasheth a thousand court orders,
Miguna Miguna is Jakenya Githwon kendo Jasuba
Gi Thwon be!
The horns man I had recruited came to me after his debut show. 'Porofesa, akudhe TIBIM. Ibiro lokenigi!?' --'Porofesa, I blew it bull's eye! Will you translate it for them!?'
I said yes, I will translate it as the DEVONSHIRE WHITE PAPER BLOW!
---If you do not recognise this fact, and continue in the delusion Kenya is the whiteman's highlands, and her vast tracts the ownership of the leisure of the English Queen, it is the drums of your doom you beat ever faster. Nor is Kenya the permanent playground of dynasts as it appears to you today.
NB: 3. Of course this ---Devonshire white paper parody---- was proclaimed countless times in the Suba language and with a plethora of instruments in orchestral gong; and, like in London of the early sixties, some will need Latin dictionaries to decode phrases like: Many Kenyan bridges are beautifully built, but a small test of a torrent ---Wah! So easy to wash away they are!
If this BBI report of theirs insists Dr. Miguna Miguna is persona non-grata, is a Canadian masquerading as a Kenyan, then it is just like Lord Dalamere claiming he will wipe his hinds with the 'Devonshire White Paper'. The paper proclaimed Kenya first and foremost an African land. Such a white paper will officially and categorically state, and broadcast open, that: KNOW ALL HUMANS, AND THEE OTHER CREATURES! MIGUNA MIGUNA is a Kenyan.
Upende Usipende! --O thee 2010 mutilate!
But of course it took the Mau Mau rebellion for many settlers to accept the obvious facts of Kenya! Those facts were already, long conceded in the Devonshire White paper. And even earlier at the beginning of the colonial story.
Temporarily the balance of power was that Kenya was a whiteman's playground and historical loot. Temporarily the balance of power is that Miguna is not a Kenyan! And Kenya is a necrocratic dynasty, and the electoral leisure of allied aristocrats.
But I doubt anybody is fooling anybody. It is just good old fear.
The Suba cultural festival @Rusinga! It was a bash in the bush! With a sting in the tail. But that is always culture for you!
-----
Post Script.
Mfangano:
WHAT H.E HEARD OR NOT HEARD
--- Quote ---Uhuru’s veiled response on Miguna’s return
By Vincent Kejitan | Updated Dec 30, 2019
“There’s nobody who has been told not to speak his mind,” stressed President Kenyatta. “You can walk on the road and even shout at the top of your voice. I have heard that others even want to board flights and come to say what they want to say, let them come. That is their freedom.”
--- End quote ---
It was a slippery moment for the duplicitous elite: Lionising the late Charles Shujaa Rubia while knifing Miguna Miguna on the ground.
Miguna and Rubia are two of a kind. They are both sides of the same coin: RESISTANCE
Charles Rubia paid heavily for his contribution to the incomplete second liberation. Some cases to do therewith are still in court. David Maraga, Willy Mutunga or Evans Gicheru, the difference can surprisingly be the same when it is a cardinal issue of moral worth. Miguna Miguna has been wretchedly treated for his rebellion against a corrupt and illegitimate order. Miguna has paid a heavy price. The price of state kidnapping, denunciation and (drugged) expulsion from his birthright and motherland. Justice, Law and Injustice can surprisingly be a welded brotherhood when an elite is threatened. Amos Wako before 2010 or Prof. Githu Muigai and Kahara after 2010, no difference when it is elite survival at core.
In his eulogy Ouru Kenyatta in his role as President found himself compelled to ask Kenyans to :* emulate Charles Wanyoike Rubia. That was a bone sooner in his own throat, for however dumb or drunk, his excellency could perceive if not hear his people giggling: I AM NOT BOARDING! NO! I AM NOT BOARDING!
He had to, as they say, have a Freudian slip of the tongue, or, bar that, elevate himself to an absurd comedian. He resolved it by a jocular tell of what he had heard. –---H.E had heard that Kenya had surrendered the Mombasa port to the Chinese!
Oops!
No, just kidding; that one he hasn't heard yet! The one he has, among others, are these noise-maker Kenyans who want to board flights to God knows where! For sooth Know all men H.E Ouru has no plans to stop them.
But others have of course.
Since when is Ouru Kenyatta's word law in this country!? Did not Nzioka Waita in his heyday as chief state mouthpiece, ban the president from uttering a single word on the status of the port of Mombasa vis-a-vis Chinese loans!? And did not the president comply like some brainless underling?
So, No sooner had President Ouru talked what he had heard than retired Colonel Cyrus Oguna was on cue to set his stupid Excellency right. All his life the son of Jomo has always needed some minion to complete his thinking for him. That complex comes with being born with a golden spoon in the mouth and subjected to perpetual spoon feeding.
--- Quote ---“All his travel papers must be right and valid,” Col. Cyrus Odhiambo Oguna, the government spokesman, told Nairobi News.
“Then he will not be denied entry. All his papers must be right and valid as per the travel regulations. We are governed by the rule of law.”
--- End quote ---
Correct, Oguna the former military intelligence insider has not been told how (the then immigration supremo) General Kihalangwa seized some of Miguna's travelling papers and perforated them inside David Maragwa's chambers!
No, that information is above Oguna's paygrade. But furthermore, thinking would of course be totally outside the human competences of a government spokesperson. The same government Oguna is speaking for, is under obligations, some of these being court orders, to facilitate the return of her citizens from wherever, especially in distress. When Black Africans were marooned in the hell of Libya after Barrack and Hilary dispatched of Qaddafi, they were airlifted like dead cargo back home. Papers or no papers.
But on the other hand, who, in this world with any brains, is going to think a government spokesperson is anything but a disinformation cog?
Wherefore Kenyan culture has moved a step forward. It has forced the official president to a dangerous lip service at the funeral of Charles Rubia. The president of Kenya has publicly washed his hands off the Miguna issue. He couldn't urge Kenyans to emulate Rubia while kanyagaring' Njugunah!
Even for a customarily unthinking man, this feat in incongruity proved publicly impossible. It makes Ouru Kenyatta an important fulcrum in the evolution of Kenyan politicology. A head of state who can admit mistakes in passing, jokingly. For instance, a few years ago he was all over the country berating Raila a WAZIMU, an ADUI YA UZALENDO, mtumua wa Wazungu, mtu hana sera etc etc. Now, Handshake manenos and peddling BBI, like a child of no memory he proclaims Raila his elder brother and just the very thing God ordered for Kenya!
No it is not shameless. It is just childishly innocent. Unthinking.
BUT: that kind of turn-coat, U-turn behaviour immediately melts national tensions and changes at a go, the political temperature of a land! That kind of irresoluteness is exactly what the parasitic elite need right now, otherwise the issue of the two presidents, the peoples and the duly elected, would now have morphed into two republics of Kenya. –--These things need to be clinically acknowledged and said. Kenyatta's childish instincts are a godsend!
So here is another such tantalising, tension-reducing U-turn from the head of state.
Miguna can say whatever he wants anywhere, including right here in Kenya, welcome!
--- Quote ---“There’s nobody who has been told not to speak his mind,” stressed President Kenyatta.
“You can walk on the road and even shout at the top of your voice.
That is their freedom.”
The President also urged Kenyans to use their freedom of speech wisely.
--- End quote ---
But, caveat two, Uhuru Kenyatta is a lame duck. And such ducks have only dying quacks.
But this dying quack is a haunting one.
It leaves us with that feeling in the stomach. What is this land pregnant with!? If Ouru keeps quacking sensibly like this, he could easily be our prime minister of choice come 2023!
But he would better find his OWN VOICE AND MIND first. And SPEAK IT CLEARLY.
Then minions like Oguna nor Waita wont be getting in the path of his vision!
Mfangano:
THE GENERAL AND THE COLONEL: MIGUNA AND OGUNA
Jeff Koinange knew he had sealed it. The only viewing that evening would be himself live, Citizen's JKL. Those who opposed Citizen Macharia when his business instincts homed on Jeff, have a sweet bitter pill to swallow. The viewership density is astronomical.
Jeff never left KTN because of the Passaris affair, Nay, it had more to do with the sensitivities of the other Macharia (Equity Bank) and of course major shareholder DT Moi (former dictator and state looter), than the sarcasm of Miguna toward Ester. —--In the break, off-air but not off tapes, Miguna contemptuously but Ester with: ravishing E. P is so beautiful everybody wants to rape her! That was when a jealous Moi family mole in the business saw an opportunity to embarrass Jeff and have him fired.
He was. But soon had a safe landing in the foam of Citizen Macharia. JKLive isn't just another talk-show, it is The Talk Show, and continues to be the (ToT) or talk of town.
Howbeit even at the Citizen's Jeff raises ire. Sometime back, with the now toxic Mike Mbuvi Sonko as guest, the plug was pulled on the show for that session, live! The reason? Editorial quality and controls.
--- Quote ---Passaris walked away from the event after Sonko bashed her for claiming that the governor always ignored her calls. After the heated conversation on Citizen TV, the show had to be stopped for a commercial break that extended to 10 minutes. The interview had to be cut short after the break, with Jeff revealing that it was due to editorial policies and quality controls.
--- End quote ---
Passaris again!? It is a hot show and the lady melts easy. Yet keeps coming back for more. I say the addiction of a masochist.
Jeff occupies a very anxious point in the elitary set-up. I always think of him thus: he is a fellow journeyman from the inner circle who would rather have been partying but, due to a protocol breach like pinching the bottoms of the crown prince's squeeze at a garden party, he has been banished from the court and sent on sentry duty. And there, Jeff has found his true calling.
From a tower above the elitary fort, Jeff is granted a binoculars to survey the goin-ons at the horizon. Everybody at the party knows all is not well out there; the mobs are restive and many desperados and adventurers are cooking succession mayhem. There are many varied dreams of a new deal out there. Some of them bloody. Jeff then presents a version which is safe, reporting only on the conflicts as it plays within the elite, at the garden party. There, do political slayqueens wiggle their hefty butts, strut their public-funded haute couture, and nible away with fake nails at champagne glasses and Glenny the Fiddich.
Just another day in paradise, or so.
Jeff knows the interview of his life –--and total sacking, will be when he flies to Scandinavia and cross-examines General Ngatia of the KRA. Preferably done in Kikuyu, and subtitled in English, this JKL special would see the end of Jeff's career at Citizen Kane's!
But the dog on a leash can't stray that far.
Nay, NRKe General Miguna is already risky enough. Jeff's cheeky wit, urbane ivy league and clownish posh, are an advertisement fit made in heaven when it pairs with the BlueTooth abrasive intellect and reckless tongue of the man with the same man twice, the NRMke General, Miguna.
And –-Behold, it was unto this posho mill of a masticating duo that the GoK sent the grain: retired Col. Oguna. Jeff and Miguna milled the former deep state burrow to fine meal. It was a horror show.
What can we say? Truly Oguna just has to be sacked. For incompetence. The embarrassment he caused himself and the country is just too great. It was a PR El-Adde. A wipe-out. But I don't remember a tradition in this country that officials resign for proven incompetence. We therefore have to be kind to the retired colonel. When one is a colonel, which is not really a decider rank in the corps, one's superiors can order one to a suicide mission, and one's fate is then to comply.
Traditionally the military has expendible ranks, and file. They literally call them cannon fodder. Every old soldier knows this. The toughest colonels at the front line, as opposed to office boy colonels shuffling paper, necessarily must have the presence of mind to not always obey headquarters. Headquarters is where Generals in air-conditioned rooms trade in the blood of others, with barely any consequences to themselves. If all the orders of the Generals were obeyed at the front lines, there would hardly be any soldiers left to later tell old soldiers' tales! Yeah, it would always be wipe-outs, like El-Adde.
Tough colonels improvise in the field; they are down to earth; they read the death situation as it develops. In lost ones they save the lives of the rank and file. They can even surrender than go suicidal mission. They can live to fight another day. Their heroism is long term. They are ready to appear cowards of the moment, but ultimately winners in history. Rtd Colonel Oguna decided to not even try to be an Abunawasi Nuwasi was a legendary a court''s fool of fabulous wit, a wit which always diffused all the thunder out of hell into self-conscious blushes.
Come to think of it: When history is finally written, the reason the middle east has not blown up this week in Armageddon can verily be the refusal of colonels to obey their commanders in chiefs and their armchair generals. Such generals seated around as chiefs of staff, are ever more busy with their retirement benefits than the fate of millions of innocent people.
What we have seen is therefore the strategic wit of battlefront colonels; we have witnessed the ritual combat between Iran and the USA, ie WWF scripted entertainment. —--The trick lies in the Muslim population of Russia and China, and the Jewish population of Russia and the middle east. Nuking Iran is the end of Jewery in the middle East; it is the break-up of Russia, as its Muslim protectorates, mostly secular, turn restive. This is the underbelly which would be ripped open: Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan, Kirghizia, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, and Uzbekistan all seething. And to top it up, NATO in the Baltic States, 20 minutes from St Petersburg. For China, the backlash would be no less terrible. The already black hole Uighur republic of Xinjiang would have to be a no man's land to avoid a total break. So the down-to-earth colonels must have quietly told the American Generals their limits. Theyhad them refuse Trump's military reaction to Iran's missile shoots. The so-called slap in the face. And there was no big-bang in the middle east. But in Kenya, those mammoth world events even if they affect the paraffin price at our locals, haven't been our preoccupation. For us, it has been why the BBI has no ladder but fairy ones extended over the canyon to Miguna.
CONTINUED: OGUNA AND MIGUNA
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